Published February 6, 2009
OK so I have been working on a story called Anomaly. It was just meant to be a one off short story but now I have 3 chapters , it has kinda become my baby.
Any way I thought about posting the chapters I have written but then I thought it would be better to just post the pro log and get your opinions on it.
It is very short I know. I am working on that but here it go's. Hope you like it 
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Death is always in the back of peoples minds not matter how comfortable you think you are with it or how long you live.It will haunt you until the day it finely comes. But never the less we all try to live a normal life and we try not to think about the end and most of us are not so morbid about the whole ordeal.
Its always in my mind some were lurking in the shadows like a predator waiting to attack , but i never thought I would meet my emanate demise on the two twenty four bus.
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Not should be no. There should be a space after the period between live and It. and finely should be finally.
{/quote]Its always in my mind some were lurking in the shadows like a predator waiting to attack , but i never thought I would meet my emanate demise on the two twenty four bus.[/quote]
Its should be It's. Get rid of the extra space after attack and capitalize that I that comes after but. and "two twenty four" seem strange.
I like your use of description about it lurking in the shadows. Other than the minor spelling error/typos you have a pretty decent prologue.
PM if you have any questions. =]
This is really good. Perfect ending, keeping us wondering what is gonna happen??
Apart from som spelling mistakes here and there and too long sentences, it's really good. And who says a prolouge need to be long??
PM me when you post other chapters?? Please:D:D
Liz <3
Thanks, I totally see what you mean and I will post the first chapter but it's just now I am a little scared
Not should be no. The phrase is 'no matter'.
Also, this sentence is a little on the long side, but it could work with a few commas. What I suggest you do is read everything you write out loud, see how it sounds, and put commas where you naturally want to pause. You could also get a friend to read it out loud, to see how they interpret the rhythm and flow.
Death is always in the back of peoples minds, no matter how comfortable you think you are with it or how long you live.
See what I mean? One comma gives the reader a little more breathing space, and makes the line less rushed.
*finally
But never the less we all try to live a normal life and we try not to think about the end and most of us are not so morbid about the whole ordeal.
Funnily enough, did you know you can run never the less into one word? Never the less= nevertheless
I think this should be split into separate sentences. You only want one idea to a sentence, or it seems too rambling and the ideas come too fast.
In this instance, you could re-write it like this:
But nevertheless we all try to lead a normal life. We try not to think about the end; most of us are not so morbid to dwell on the whole ideal.
Its= It's. Check out this link, it's a brilliant little explanation on apostrophes:
viewarticlebody.php?t=35798
Some were= Somewhere
Please, a tip= read your entry before posting. It catches most typos and makes your piece more attractive to reviewers.
Emanate demise is a rather...overused term. Just an opinion.
Well, there's not much else to say, it is rather short. But it has got me interested, which it the whole point of a prologue, right?
You should post your chapters soon. Then PM me. Do iiiiiit. *waves hand, trying to use the force*
^_^
-Nutty