Sleepless Roads

Song: Here You Me By: Jimmy Eat World

Title: Sleepless Roads

Author: Morgan a.k.a Embroswyn15

He couldn’t even say goodbye. It was all so sudden, so completely unexpected and Milo hated God for that. His hands were jammed in the pockets of his suit pants, balled into fists. He was so angry; he could barely keep his face from being twisted in a mixture of pain and fury. It was all wrong. It shouldn’t have happened like that. She’d been the love of his life and now she was gone. His only light in life had been taken from him and he could never get her back.

“It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” he whispered to himself, before biting his lower lip to fight back tears.

He was still in the presence of the funeral guests, of which there were many though the funeral had ended and people were beginning to leave. But despite his company, he felt utterly alone. Then he felt a hand on his arm. It was Cynthia Hoyt, the mother. He looked at her, the tears breaking through and saw that she was crying as well. She wasn’t supposed to be comforting him; it was supposed to be the other way around. He was supposed to be comforting her, telling her that Natalie was okay and in a better place. That would, however, have been wrong to say. How a better place be somewhere where she couldn’t even see her family…somewhere where she had to be forced to leave her life behind at such a young age. No. There was no better place. THIS, this place called the world, where Milo, and Cynthia and everyone else who’d loved her remained, was the better place.

But he couldn’t tell Cynthia that.

“Natalie loved you so much,” Cynthia choked as she fought the urge to sob. “She really did.”

Milo didn’t know what to say. She continued.

“Every time she saw you or was around you, she glowed. You made her happier than she ever had been. You were the best thing that happened to her,” Cynthia explained, gazing at the casket with a far-away look that made it seem that she was looking at something no one else could see.

That was it. Cynthia broke down. Liam Hoyt, Natalie’s stepfather, steadied her as she tried to stand up. He guided her gently to the car parked not far off, leaving Milo alone, kept company by only his thoughts.

Everyone was gone. Milo was the only one who remained at the gravesite. Her casket had yet to be lowered. He looked dreamily at the array of flowers that had been draped across it, moving from bouquet to bouquet until he got to the photo of her, poised on a stand beside the grave.

She had been beautiful, with her long dark waves and bright blue eyes. She had been the first person to give him hope in a long time…probably since he’d moved in with his drunk of a father after his mother died. She’d whisked him away from the fights with him and even got her parents to let him stay with them for a little while until things cooled down. She was an angel before she died so why did she have to be called to duty in heaven when she had her life on Earth?

“I’m so lost, Natalie,” Milo began, hands still in fists but now at his sides. “I don’t even know what else there is for me in life now that you’re gone. You were my life, my saving grace.”

The tears finally came, pouring down his face like rain on a window. And this time, he let them flow.

“I-I can’t have you back can I? Your really gone forever?” he cried, gasping in between tears.

It took him a few minutes to compose himself. He knew it was time to go.

“I know you’re in heaven. You were my angel, after all,” he said, shaking his head slightly. “I just need to know your okay.”

Then he added, “Please, just give me a sign that you are alright.”

It startled Milo when the butterfly landed on his hand. It was beautiful with bright blue wings and black circles. And in that moment, he knew. Natalie was okay. It flew away after a moment, vanishing into the distance. But he knew now. He knew that she was just fine.