Young Writers Society

People’s words can really get to us.They can damage our well-being and hurt our soul.If you can find positivity in the little things you’re good.It’s not natural to be happy all the time either,but it’s nice to have that feeling.I have to say that it can feel like this.It’s cruel how others can be.I hope that you will have a nice and lovely day and night.

Hey Em16! I'm here for a review.
May I just say that your poem is really emotional and realistic. While reading it, one feels as if it is mirroring our emotions. It is the way we all tend to feel, after being nitpicked a lot many times. And all our mistakes are of 'devilish intent' as you say it. Besides, you pulled the blank verse remarkably well. The differentiation of stanzas gave it the flow that was desired. I would like to quote some of the phrases here:

I hate myself for hating
How other people treat me,
For screaming at my friends
When they find issue with my personality.

I know now
Why I hate myself.
How can I learn
To love myself

If no one else is willing to?

Hello...
I am here to review..
Loved your writing!
Very well organized and written ... I am really impressed by your amazing writing piece.
There was just this point that made me a little down.
That was you could have added the point that people reach such extent of hatred that even they commit suicide. This what people usually do when they cant think of anything else. This point whether you will write or not it's completely up to you.So just take it as a suggestion.😊
Other than this I did not really find anything wrong.
That's it !

Keep writing!
From Sulsgna

Hello, Em, I thought I'd drop by for a quick review.

I love the topic and how well you've portrayed this whole feeling of self-hatred. At first, I was wondering why the narrator kept thinking about how other people hated him instead of why he hated himself, but there was a very good build up until the end, where they say, "How can I learn to love myself if no one else is willing to?"
This is an issue many people face. We end up having nothing but disdain for ourselves because we are so worried about others, and assume their opinions are far above ours. So this line obligingly answered my first question and laid the poem to rest in a beautiful manner.
However, I suggest you mention this near the beginning of the poem too. It'll add gravity to the whole piece.
I also think you've used the word "hate" and its forms too many times. I understand that that is the main theme of this poem, and yet find myself discomfited by the relentless usage. Replace it or remove it where you can. I'm not going to say where, because some parts that I think are of less importance may be closer to you.


One more thing; some stanzas consist of very short lines, while others are the exact opposite. This creates a broken effect; the going becomes a little bumpy as it keeps changing. Maybe you could try working on that.

Overall, this is a wonderful poem. Every stanza is so true and so accurate of what I often feel that I'm very impressed. Well done. It's relatable, reads well, has great imagery (my favourite image was of water being polluted and the exaggerated frailty of the narrators' wings), and uses sharp wit. It's a really good piece of work, and I look forward to seeing more!

- Lee