Young Writers Society

Hiii Em16, this is Scribbler 20 here for a quick review.
This poem sounds so great. It is really interesting how you started off with the speaker not knowing much about the golf, and eventually revealing his love. I love the emotions lying beneath your simple lines.
I really don’t have much critiques.
In the stanza
“In those moments
Under the protection of the trees
It feels like the whole world
Is our chorus to sing.”
I don’t know why but I felt like the word “protection” seemed to obstruct the flow a bit. To me, it appeared that a lighter word like shade would help with the flow. I also felt that the speaker feeling that the whole world is theirs chorus to sing, kinda felt off and forced and didn’t sound great like your other lines. But that could be just me. Just ignore it, if you don’t find it helpful.
My favourite part is the last two stanza, especially the last one.
“I don’t know much about golf.
I know even less about life.
But there’s one thing
I’m absolutely positive I know.
Someday, when the light dims
And the music fades into silence
I’ll still remember you and me
Walking across the golf green.”
I love the entire theme of your poem and the end just adds to it. I don’t think there’s any other better way to end it.
Keep writing and I hope to read more of your works.

WOWIE!! I love this so much. It's a lovely emotive piece about how love can make you do things you wouldn't normally do, like golf, and how you learn about significant other's interests just by being with them. It was beautifully written. I especially loved stanza five, with the imagery it conveyed and the clever comparison of holding the narrator in his/her arms and holding a club. It's such a lovely, domestic piece and I have no critiques, except for maybe... yeah, I got nothing. This was a complete joy to read. I am in awe. I can't stress how much I love this.

You're an amazing writer, so keep doing what you're doing.