Published April 3, 2008
A heartwarming tale of someone doing good...xD
He stands there on the corner outside of 711.
He shivers and shakes in the brisk air.
He doesn't have a jacket.
You feel depressed.
You know what you should do.
You walk up, give him a ten dollar bill.
His face lights up and he shakes your hand.
He is so grateful.
You walk away, feeling good about yourself.
He walks away, feeling even better.
He buys a six pack and drives away in his Porsche.
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Just so you know, there is a subforum under NaNoWriMo for NaPoWriMo threads. That way, they'll all be in one place.
Anyway, I liked this poem a lot. The ending threw me. My main critique is lines like "You feel depressed" and "He is so grateful". I'd just remove the grateful one (you already showed it in the line before) and some imagery that shows depression.
Overall, not bad. Keep writing and good luck with NaPoWriMo!
That is sad when people do that. That is why I don't give money to people who beg. I'm afraid they will use it for the wrong stuff. And it's bad for the people who really need the money and nobody will help them because of some bad seeds. Anywho, i liked the poem. I made me laugh. Great Job!
Hah! The ending made me laugh.
Good one!
So true. Something not exactly like this but quite close to this happened to a friend of mine. Lets just say she was fooled by a professional beggar, if you get what I mean.
Your poem was simple and you used good imagery. I just loved the ending as it sort of surprised me.