Published July 6, 2008
Ed: Hey, Che!
What’sa matter with you?
Why a grim face on a day like this,
When the world’s so crisp, the sky’s so blue?
Hey! I’m talking to you!
Well? Isn’t the sky blue?
Che: It is, It is…..
Brad: So what’s up?
Something eating at you Che?
Let us wipe those starry eyes,
Come out and play!
Nick: Listen to your brother friend,
Why you sad when you’ve got us?
We’re the kings of god damn Globe Street,
So what’s with all the fuss?
Ed: Can’t think of anyone richer,
One guy with his very own crew.
Just like angels flank the innocent
We’re here to watch over you!
Nick: So you’ve seen something nasty,
Haven’t we all!
Take it from us, the higher your heart rises,
The harder your conscience falls!
Che: Jesus Christ, Guys!
Leave me be, please
At least for today?
Brad: Don’t take that tone with us,
When we talk, you listen!
That’s what you do, okay?
Ed: Whoa, boys, things with us are grand,
Things with us are swell.
There’s the door, Che my friend,
Feel free to run and tell!
Brad: Worried we’re gonna sell you out,
Scared we’re gonna ‘get you too?’
Nick: Frightened that lovely face of yours’
Is gonna get beaten black and blue?’
Che: I wouldn’t put it past you lot,
Enough! Back off! I mean it Ed,
I swear!
You think I won’t do it,
To hell if I care!
Ed: Calm it, you don’t need to make threats,
You’re with loved ones, your crew!
Just like angels flank the innocent,
We’re here to watch over you!
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141,651 Literary Works • 675,339 Reviews
Yay! Another song! I was going to critique this last night, but I was too tired. But, here I am!
I wonder if some of this, particularly Che's bit, isn't speaking. If it is, you need to tell us that so we don't get confused.
I felt a lot of this had a rhythm, but there were some bits that stopped me.
I just couldn't get a tune in this verse. Is it supposed to be spoken? I don't get the feeling that it is, but I can't sing it.
There were a couple more places like that, but the one above was the main one that made me sit there thinking, 'This really doesn't work'.
I liked the last line, and this is a pretty sweet song.
Let me know when you post another!