Keys

Cold eyes knew that they wouldn’t dare,
true, but the captive do not dare, awkward wording
the captive act to breath their air
and take back what was once theirs and there. You just added 'there' for a rhyme seems like. Rhyming is not so important.

In the bins burn hundreds of wings,
stray catskgnaw on broken guitar strings,
empty playground, frozen swings
no one laughs so no one sings.
Things, things
gone with the power freedom brings. this line renews my interest

All the eyes and all the we’soo play on words!
little streams flow into rivers and into seas,for some reason i like that better, but it's not essential
demanding the sky and all the trees,
to begin to shake their little keys.
And shake their keys.
And shake their keys.
Slaves to ideologies
freed themselves, ehh, kinda messed with the flow
unlocked by keys.[/quote]

I enjoyed this poem a lot. It has an interesting flow and does a great job of being both poetic and meaningful. I typically don't like rhyming in poetry, but your rhymes worked nicely and never seemed to get in the way. My one criticism is that rhyming "dare" with "dare" at the beginning is very weak. Excellent work.

I love this poem, but I do have a few minor suggestions to make the poem flow a little better:

Cold eyes knew that they wouldn’t dare,
true, but the captive do not dare, Your use of words here doesn't quite work. Either captive needs to be plural
the captive act to breath their air Same problem here, try either captives.
and take back what was once theirs and there. Is this needed? It's not a big deal to leave it, but it does mess up the flow a bit

In the bins burn hundreds of wings,
stray cats knaw on broken guitar strings, gnaw*
empty playground, frozen swingsAgain, not a big deal, but adding and before frozen might make the syllables match up a little better
no one laughs so no one sings.
Things, things Yet another none essential, adding another "things" might help with the flow
gone with the power freedom brings.

All the eyes and all the we’s
little streams flow into rivers and seas, Just an opinion, but I don't really think this flows right, maybe "flow into bigger seas"? Just an opinion.
demanding the sky and all the trees,
begin to shake their little keys.
And shake their keys.
And shake their keys.
Slaves to ideologies
freed themselves,
unlocked by keys.