Published August 14, 2008
In the darkest light of day
tonight, I’m going away.
Where my soul already plays
along a silver sea that sways.
Underneath a golden kingdom,
I’m going to a place called freedom.
Nothing’s going to hunt me,
no one’s going to find me.
In this land the eye can’t see,
the air breathes so freely.
A brave and safe world of new,
like a dear old friend calling you.
And don’t you hear it calling you?
Take the journey with me too.
It’s not that long, not very far
just a dream past that glowing star.
The land recognises who you are.
Just imagine what's waiting
If you don't step out how will you know?
Everyone's scared of this
This strange and terrifying show
But remember, I am with you
through everything, and so--
We’re going to our special kingdom,
a land where memories grow.
Let’s look towards this place called freedom
Hold onto me, all of me
and forever we will go.
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140,623 Literary Works • 673,564 Reviews
You have some pretty lines here that flow well. The second stanza has such a good ring to it you might even want to consider repeating it as a refrain.
Some of the lines sound a little forced because of the rhyme scheme, which is always a tough thing to pull off. The beginning of the the fourth stanza has some awkwardness. Overall, this poem has a lot of potential, but you might want to think about slimming it down a bit and just leave the best parts. It has good rhythm- and is very thematic. Nice job.
not sure what it means, but i like it