Published April 26, 2013
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140,456 Literary Works • 673,225 Reviews
Hi Eilyn and welcome to YWS!
I'm pretty sure you meant something else in the third line. Wiping your tears? Being your best friend?
I agree with previous commenters about cleaning up the typos and grammar. It's I'll, not Ill, and should be spelled out, and promises at the end should be "promise".
Now, this is nice. I feel like it could go on a card that you made for a best friend. It's simple and not terribly imaginative, but I think it's okay if you don't mean to get too deep. The rhyming is pretty solid, which is hard to get.
In the future, I'd encourage you to go beyond this. Write about less obvious subjects, or say something different. Use images to really grab the readers attention. Experiment with different structures, or no structure at all. Poetry is really fun to explore, and I'd love to see what you can do with it. Welcome again and keep writing!
Ill always be beside you [Should be I'll, cause I'm sure you didn't mean ill]
until the very end,
wiping your best friend. [Is wiping a typo?]
Ill smile when you smile [I'll]
& feel all the pain you do,
& if you cry a single tear , [Spacing issue, shouldn't be a space between tear and the comma]
I promises I'll cry too.
I see it's been previously mentioned but spell out the and. Also I don't even think it is necessary to add in the and on either one of them. You have to start out somewhere, and starting is the first step on the right path. It looks like you have a pretty good knack for the flow of the poem, and that's a pretty good thing for a beginner. Good luck and keep writing, you'll get the hang of it!
The poem is short and sweet. But there are some errors that need to be pointed out.
*I'll always be beside you
"wiping your best friend" doesn't make sense.
*I'll smile
"&" should be "and". It's poetry, not some sms.
*I promise I'll cry too.
The * signs indicate corrections. Keep writing. I see you are a beginner. Don't worry, the first attempt is mostly full of mistakes. But mistakes allow you to improve. So keep writing keeping in view the feedback and constructive criticism you get. Cheers