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U.S Civil War

by EdenColin1


DBQ Civil War

Many people can argue that the main cause of the Civil War was the Kansas-Nebraska Act, The Missouri Compromise, Economic,social , or even the Compromise of 1850. There are an abundant amount of reasons that people can argue how the Civil War started. Anyways the cause of the war is political reason and .

First of all, the State Government especially the south state thought they weren't getting all their rights and that the Federal government was too over controller.Also the north wanted the new state in west to be free state. The south didn’t want that to happen because that would mean more anti slavery as representatives which would lead the end of slavery . They thought their power was too was weak and unfair. Abraham Lincoln won the Election of 1860 without their supported.

On a conventional meeting, A Southern politician attacked a Northern,when he spoke negative tone about him. Both group were supporting their man. I can only infer both group were willing to do more for their man and we can already see the separation among them . Few weeks later, a group of northern attacked southern politics which demonstrate again both parties and their supporters were willing to do anything for their fellows.

Dred Scott an African-American who unsuccessfully sued for his freedom..The Supreme Court decided if Scott should be free or not, although he and his wife Harriet Scott were slaves, they had lived with his master Dr. John Emerson in states and territories where slavery was illegal according to both state laws and the Northwest Ordinance of 1787. The United States Supreme Court decided 7–2 against Scott, finding that neither he nor any other person of African ancestry could claim citizenship in the United and therefore Scott could not bring suit in federal court under diversity of citizenship rules.

Lastly, another political reason. John Brown was killed after been captured because him and his group killed many pro slaveries believers. He believed armed insurrection was the only way to overthrow the institution of slavery in the United States.Unlike most other Northerners, who advocated peaceful resistance to the pro-slavery faction, Brown believed that peaceful resistance was shown to be ineffective and that the only way to defeat the oppressive system of slavery was through violent insurrection. He believed he was the instrument of God's wrath inpunishing men for the sin of owning slaves.

As many reason that cause the war. Political reason seems the main cause of the war. Politicians fought during meeting, yelled at each other, degree and couldn't compromise at anything. Their supports whom did anything for their leaders revenge for them if it was necessary which build on and on which lead the to the war.


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Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:45 pm
MooCowPoop wrote a review...



Nice topic! I agree that there are many reasons why the Civil War happened.

I think that there needs to be more structure to this essay.

There are an abundant amount of reasons that people can argue how the Civil War started. Anyways the cause of the war is political reason and .


Is this your thesis statement? If it is, I am going to fix it up. I like that you acknowledge that there are many reasons that factored into the cause of the Civil War. But your transitional word is not helpful. This word is "anyways". Anyways is more of a colloquial term and is not always used in professional essays (it's also spelled incorrectly, but that's unimportant). The more appropriate word to use in this case, would be however. You should also be more specific about what political reason caused the war. In essays, you want to be direct.

Another thing that I have noticed throughout this essay is that since you did not have a thesis, you kind of just threw facts around, which is okay, but I don't think it was for this essay, because it sounded to me like an argumentative essay. With argumentative essays, you need to have an argument. An argument is a almost like a belief and you want people to believe in your belief. And with this belief, you use facts to strengthen your belief.

That's all I'll say for now. I think if you work more on coming up with an argument, then your essay will be stronger.

See ya!




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Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:23 pm
octobergrace wrote a review...



Many people can argue that the main cause of the Civil War was the Kansas-Nebraska Act, The Missouri Compromise, Economic,social , or even the Compromise of 1850. There are an abundant amount of reasons that people can argue how the Civil War started. Anyways the cause of the war is political reason and .


1. "Economic,social , or even the Compromise of 1850." sounds better as "economic turmoil, social conflict, and the Compromise of 1850."
2. "There are an abundant amount of reasons that people can argue how the Civil War started." is better as "There are an abundant amount of reasons for which people can argue were the Civil War's cause."
3. This last sentence is a fragment. Also, don't use "anyways" in a piece of writing like this. It comes off as unprofessional and casual. This is probably supposed to be your thesis, so form a very specific, narrow statement that is disputable, yet solid in your own opinion without using personal pronouns.


First of all, the State Government especially the south state thought they weren't getting all their rights and that the Federal government was too over controller.Also the north wanted the new state in west to be free state. The south didn’t want that to happen because that would mean more anti slavery as representatives which would lead the end of slavery . They thought their power was too was weak and unfair. Abraham Lincoln won the Election of 1860 without their supported.


A few things:

1. "south state" needs to be "south states".
2. "weren't getting all their rights" is too casual. Try something like "were being denied their rights" or "were being disenfranchised".
3. "was too over controller" should be "was being over-controlling", or something like that. "over controller" doesn't make sense.
4. "Also the north wanted the new state in west to be free state" is confusing. In THE west to be A free state? Please reword.
5. "that would mean more anti slavery as representatives which would lead the end of slavery" is also confusing in its wording. Try: "that would mean more support for the anti slavery movement from the representatives, leading to its abolition."
6. "They thought their power was too was weak and unfair." Put this sentence somewhere else or don't include it.
7. "Abraham Lincoln won the Election of 1860 without their supported." Is this on-topic with this paragraph? It doesn't flow well.


On a conventional meeting, A Southern politician attacked a Northern,when he spoke negative tone about him. Both group were supporting their man. I can only infer both group were willing to do more for their man and we can already see the separation among them . Few weeks later, a group of northern attacked southern politics which demonstrate again both parties and their supporters were willing to do anything for their fellows.


1. "During a conventional meeting", not "on".
2. "A" should not be capitalized.
3. "attacked a Northern" should be "attacked a Northern politician".
4. "Both group were supporting their man." should be "Both groups were supporting their man", however, you may want to reword this to sound different, for example, "Both groups were loyal to their representatives".
5. "I can only infer both group were willing to do more for their man and we can already see the separation among them .", should be "I can only infer both groups were willing to do more for their man and the separation between the two groups could already be seen." Though, the wording is still a bit strange, so you may want to find some other way of phrasing what you mean with that sentence.
6. "Few weeks later, a group of northern attacked southern politics which demonstrate again both parties and their supporters were willing to do anything for their fellows.", should be "A few weeks later, a group of northern politicians attacked southern politicians, which demonstrates again the attitudes of both parties and how their supporters were willing to do anything for their fellow men."


Dred Scott an African-American who unsuccessfully sued for his freedom..The Supreme Court decided if Scott should be free or not, although he and his wife Harriet Scott were slaves, they had lived with his master Dr. John Emerson in states and territories where slavery was illegal according to both state laws and the Northwest Ordinance of 1787. The United States Supreme Court decided 7–2 against Scott, finding that neither he nor any other person of African ancestry could claim citizenship in the United and therefore Scott could not bring suit in federal court under diversity of citizenship rules.


1. The first sentence here is pretty bad. Try: "Dred Scott, an African-American who unsuccessfully sued for his freedom..." and then continue the sentence, because as it is now, you haven't finished the thought and have left this sentence as a fragment.
2. The second sentence: Please make it two sentences. "The Supreme Court decided if Scott should be free or not." is one sentence and "Although he and his wife Harriet Scott were slaves, they had lived with his master Dr. John Emerson in states and territories where slavery was illegal according to both state laws and the Northwest Ordinance of 1787." can be another sentence.
3. "could claim citizenship in the United" should say "could claim citizenship in the United States".


Lastly, another political reason. John Brown was killed after been captured because him and his group killed many pro slaveries believers. He believed armed insurrection was the only way to overthrow the institution of slavery in the United States.Unlike most other Northerners, who advocated peaceful resistance to the pro-slavery faction, Brown believed that peaceful resistance was shown to be ineffective and that the only way to defeat the oppressive system of slavery was through violent insurrection. He believed he was the instrument of God's wrath inpunishing men for the sin of owning slaves.


1. It's good that you started this paragraph with a transition, but you should do this with the other paragraphs as well if you want to be consistent.
2. "after been captured" should be "after having been captured."
3. "because him and his group killed many pro slaveries believers." Yikes, this is pretty bad here. "he and his group" is better, and the latter part is badly worded. Try: "because he and his group killed many pro-slavery advocates."
4. The next two sentences are good.
5. "inpunishing" is not a word. That sentence should be: "He believed he was the instrument of God's wrath and was destined to punish men for the sin of owning slaves."


As many reason that cause the war. Political reason seems the main cause of the war. Politicians fought during meeting, yelled at each other, degree and couldn't compromise at anything. Their supports whom did anything for their leaders revenge for them if it was necessary which build on and on which lead the to the war.


1. First two sentences should be one, reading: "Despite the many reasons for the Civil War, the main cause seems to be a political one."
2. "during meeting" should be "during meetings". "degree" should be "disagreed"
3. "Their supports whom did anything for their leaders revenge for them if it was necessary which build on and on which lead the to the war." is a confusing sentence. I can't think of how to reword this because I don't understand what you meant by it.
4. If this is your conclusion, you need to tie it all up at the end a bit better. Summarize your main points.


General criticism:

1. I can't tell the main points of the paragraphs.
2. I can't tell if you outlined this. The organization is not good.
3. Your wording was confusing, unclear, and too casual.
4. A few grammatical errors, spelling errors, and errors in punctuation that should be easy to fix if you look over this a bit.





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