Hello Doss my dear writing sister, FlamingPhoenix here to do a review for you on this lovely night, sorry it took so long, I thought I reviewed this, oh well.
Okay let's get to the review shall we.
So I did see one of two things that can be fixed.
So here is the first thing.
So I can rest form the constant changes,
that were here before.
When things do change,
As I am sure you no from many of my last reviews the words in bold is what I am talking about. So there is nothing wrong with your spelling but there isn't a big enough time gap to be using the same word twice, to be honest you should try to not use the same word twice in a poem, it kind of throes the flow off. But if you want to change one of the changes or remove it is up to you.
Okay onto the next thing.
I have found out away to hide from all of that now.
Now you haven't spelt it wrong but I think you used the wrong work to use here, I think you should say A instead of out.
Now I would like to talk about one more thing, it's very small but I would like to bring it up. So you start out with long sentences and then you start going small. To give your poem a better flow you should try and make them all the same length, so I'm going to go to the last sentence I pointed out to you.
I have found out away to hide from all of that now.
In this sentence if you are going to try and make it shorter then I would take out the now, or you could change your sentence up.
Well that was all I could see in this.
So I thought you did a very good job with this work I liked how you put the emotion of the person over coming their fear, it put a lot of emotion in to this peace. As I have told you with your other works your writing is amazing and you astound me. I look forward to reading more of your works. I hope you have a great night.
Your friend and faithful reader
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion.
Points: 122617
Reviews: 616
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