Young Writers Society

Wesh! Professor Jade here to review your poem. The title reminded me of Dora the Explorer for some reason, but I thought I'd check it out.

Let's just get to it....

Exploring

I run to the sea,

And I seek a tree

Above me,

The flow is good and the rhyme scheme is consistent. Trees and seas have nothing in common so maybe keep to one theme per stanza.

I see,

Some bees,

Flying over leaves

I then climb this tree,

You need less commas and more periods. It makes it feel choppy instead of flowing.

And scrape my knee,

The bark is rough,

And Tough.

I cry in pain

I keep on crying

and saying

I should never have done that,

Now Exploring

Is boring.

OVERALL: This is a fun and lighthearted poem. I enjoy your style and I can't wait to see more by you. Until then, I hope this helped.

-Professor JadeLotus-

Hi Eagle, here for a short review! I've been so busy this month, which is why I've been slow on the reviewing.

Structure
I see that you tried some rhyming and sound structure in here! That really adds some nice poetic rhythm to the piece. I think that the rhyming could be a little bit more consistent.

Also when you repeat the same sound (like the "ee" sound in "tree/me/see/bees/leaves/knee/cryINg/borIng/explorINg") over and over again, it creates an expectation that it is a pattern. So when you break the pattern -> in this case when you ended the line with "rough/tough/pain" it really brought attention to that part of the poem as it was unexpected. I think you could vary the sounds in the earlier part of the poem to make that middle part stand out a bit less.

Also I have found for rhyming it's best to stick with some sort of repeating pattern - to practice that you can assign a letter to each "rhyme sound" and then see the pattern it makes. Here's the pattern your poem makes: A BBBB CCBB DDE AAF AA ... which is not quite a pattern as you can see.

Some bees,

Flying over leaves

I then climb this tree,

And scrape my knee,

The bark is rough,

I really enjoyed this!

That's so good! I love your poem. I can see everything perfectly!

hey EagleFly! greetings of the day.

this piece or poem or poetry, it is really interesting and funny to read. you presented that exploration of yours with so few words and so nicely that i loved it.

the sea, the tree, the bees sounded perfect. and their use too. the format, choice of words and simplicity was on point. it is more a strong fact that the reader can imagine you doing the climbing and stuff like your sister said. thats why its more likeable.

hope you keep on exploring so we can get to read more of these funny but amazing pieces.

see you soon
~chitz~

Hey there Eagle !!

This is Eros here with a review for this sweet little wonderful poem !!

The title is short, sweet and attractive. I really love the way you have described the scene and the little incident... Rather it is a little adventrue sort of thing...

Basically there are three elements of nature --- the tree, the sea and the bees. You have expressed a -young-at-heart- kind of feelings through the poem. It was very refreshing piece of poetry.

It starts with exploring the nature's beauty, and you as the narrator climb the tree. But it hurts your soft legs-- rather knees, because it's a tough bark of the tree, and it scrapes your knees...I could feel that pain as you described it. As a result you start crying and crying for quite a long time and also you regret for climbing the tree. That is you regret exploring. And finally you say it is boring.

The last words, like FlamingPhoenix says, are indeed happy and sweet. It was cute and I really loved the poem.

Keep writing such awesome poetries !

I would love to keep reviewing and reading them !

Have a great day / night !

With love,
From Eros.

Hey there Eagle !!

This is Eros here with a review for this sweet little wonderful poem !!

The title is short, sweet and attractive. I really love the way you have described the scene and the little incident... Rather it is a little adventrue sort of thing...

Basically there are three elements of nature --- the tree, the sea and the bees. You have expressed a -young-at-heart- kind of feelings through the poem. It was very refreshing piece of poetry.

It starts with exploring the nature's beauty, and you as the narrator climb the tree. But it hurts your soft legs-- rather knees, because it's a tough bark of the tree, and it scrapes your knees...I could feel that pain as you described it. As a result you start crying and crying for quite a long time and also you regret for climbing the tree. That is you regret exploring. And finally you say it is boring.

The last words, like FlamingPhoenix says, are indeed happy and sweet. It was cute and I really loved the poem.

Keep writing such awesome poetries !

I would love to keep reviewing and reading them !

Have a great day / night !

With love,
From Eros.

Hello, EagleFly. FlamingPhonix is here with a review for you on this lovely day. Okay let's begin.

So I know you have read this poem to me a lot, but I still find it really funny. I will have to say the best part on the poem will be this bit.
Now

Exploring

Is boring.

Hello, Eagle Fly!!

What a great poem you have here. Its very interesting
I love it! it is very pretty, and I love how you used the bees, and tree to tell like a short story.
There is feeling to it, and a meaning to. I'm not sure if i got it correct but i did learn something from it.
I don't see anything wrong with it, Its basic but at the same time a special one..
I feel it earns a review

Id love to read more of your work
Keep it up!!

Your friend Anma