Looking like a bag of cotton candy spread across the sky,
Like curtains of angels ,
What is it that they hide?
Picture of serenity,
Are they really just dirt, dust and drops of life?
Why is it the gravity that they defy?
Watching over the earth from beyond and high
They float away peacefully, calmly, like pilgrims on pilgrimage , wandering, worshiping, feeling gratified.
Picturesque beauty, so many secrets they hide....
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138,720 Literary Works • 672,257 Reviews
Hey there DubyS and welcome to YWS! It's just lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.
I haven't reviewed any poems for awhile so this should be fun. Your poem is pretty short so I think I'll just do this review line by line.
-This is an okay opening line but I wouldn't know that you were talking about clouds, unless I had read the title. You want a line that makes sure the readers know exactly what you're talking about. In this case, I don't. I would recommend just putting in a simple line above this one. Something as simple as what I typed in the quote below.
-That is legit all you need to say so that the readers can connect the descriptions.
-I would really split these two lines because together they don't look right. I'm ignoring the caps in the middle of the sentence but if you want to keep that, you definitely have to split the line. Grammar aside, it gives a better image and a better flow when in half.
-I think you might have meant 'Pictures of serenity' but maybe that's just my way of looking at it. I sort of liked this line because it seemed to be very powerful. Then it just sort of dropped off as it neared the end, like you ran out of good ideas to use. Again that's just my perspective, you don't need to take any parts of this review seriously.
Before I move on, it seems like you have a big formatting issue. I know the publishing center isn't very good friends with outside word documents but please try and fix it. It never really bothers me when I read poems but it is pretty distracting to the reader. As you see with this paragraph, it took my attention away from the content enough, that I wanted to comment on it.
-I think I might know what you're trying to say but the wording is so funky, I don't really know if it's right or not. It's like you start to ask a question, halfway through decide not to, and then start it up again by the end. Could you just clear up the meaning of this line for me? You know before I stumble any further and try and make sense of my possible thoughts.
-This is the one line that I really, truly did like and hoped I wouldn't have to comment on anything. Sadly I do. I believe worshiping is spelled 'worshiping' instead of 'worshipping'.
-The last line is okay but i was put off by the extended ellipsis. I don't really like ellipsis but they're okay if done in the usual amounts. Extensions to them just seem to be in really poor taste. Like you're trying to extend your thoughts farther but it ends up hurting the end of your poem.
Well I guess that's really about all I have to say for this review. Hopefully something in this collection of comments will prove to be useful to you.
Good luck and have a nice day.
Happy RevMo.
Lizzy
The Queen of the Book Clubs
Hello Lizzy. It's Duby here. First of all I want to thank you for your review. It was definitely very useful and as you can see I've edited few things taking your suggestions into consideration. Now, about the first line, while writing the poem I was hoping that the line "cotton candy spread across the sky" gave the idea of clouds as it seemed pretty obvious to me , but then again maybe it's just because I wrote it. About the spelling of worshiping I still can't believe I made such a mistake
. As for the last line I thought that the extended ellipsis gave the idea that I was wondering about the secrets that the clouds hide. That being said I am truly very thankful for your review. Happy Writing! 
DubyS
Hi I'm Ishan and I'm here to review your work.
Firstly, with no intention to offend you, I found your poem a little immature. There was nothing a grown up to think about. Cotton candies, floating away peacefully etc., made me write this comment.
Second, it's title could have been better. I'd say a lot better.
Third, your last paragraph was wonderful. I think you could've started with the poem with it only.
Last, your poem could've been a little longer.
Nice poem and thought of mind.
Keep writing!!!!
Thankyou for your review I'll definitely work on it