Published January 14, 2012
Anger red with passion smolders deep within my heart,
Vigor charged with orange gives my muscles a kick start.
A shining sun illuminates my skin from yellow skies,
While fire fueled with jealousy glows green within my eyes.
The gentle wind flows through my hair with waves of tranquil blue.
My soul is wrapped in purple, as slowly it’s infused
With everything that I’ve become and all that I will be;
I live my life in color,
And breathe in harmony.
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140,684 Literary Works • 673,594 Reviews
I really enjoyed reading this poem. It was actually very soothing, but at the same time, I felt a wave of emotions run through me (And I'm saying that in a positive way!). The rhymes weren't silly or forced, and the imagery was rather beautiful.
The flow of the poem seemed iffy here and there, but it isn't so dramatic that I'm going to recommend that you change it. This was a creative piece, what inspired you to write this? I'm just curious.
Sorry for the lack of advice, but I honestly like this the way that it is. I hope you keep writing and have a nice evening!
Hi! I never thought anyone would be drunk by writing! And so I took interest in reading this poem!
Concept & Theme:
I love the concept of this poem. It was sort of a narrative, but there is so much description and imagery that I can see this colorful whole. I also like the idea of seeing the wonderful color in everything, it was serene.
Technicalities:
The wordings are fine. No problem there. But about your verses, well, there are some that confused me a bit. But only a bit
The usage of 'kick start' was a bit too young, opposite from the other words which are quite mature.
At first, it confused me, but after the second scan, I understood what you're trying to say. The confusion here was induced because of 'from'. It first seems as if the sun was protecting your skin from itself. Try to see this, chap, because I know good writers interchange word structures, and so maybe you did it here.
The usage of 'infused' was incomplete. It wasn't as colorful as the other verses, so try to check up on this one, mate.
Also, the verse on the end was an impact.
Imagery:
As I've said, it was as colorful and creative as the rainbow itself. I brought images of harmony and color and balance. It was simply perfect for my brain! Y'know, a bit of relaxation with words? Anyways, as I've also said, watch for the purple verse...
Overall:
A wonder, it is! Beautiful and serene from start to finish! A colorful masterpiece indeed! Just a add bit more thinner and this painting will be fit at the Louvre!
Your artist le crayon,
Al