Published November 6, 2008
It's been some time
More than a while
But i'm sure tonight
So sure of it.
I'm ready to take that chance
It's in the autumn leaves
Their colors bewitching me
Bewitching us, Our love
And tonight i'm sure.
Distance has touched us
Danger has threatened
But all has gone
As you've arrived
I'm ready to forget the past
It's in the autumn breeze
It's melody becoming our song
Singing out, Singing to us
And tonight i'm sure.
Circumstances changed us
Though fate has pulled tight
And tonight fate's here
In the form of you.
I'm ready to close this deal
It's in the Autumn cold
It's warming us through with wonder
As we warm together, and together
Is how we end our night.
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141,628 Literary Works • 675,278 Reviews
For starters, we need to know who you're talking about and why we should care. Is he handsome? Is he your morning star in life, having bewitched you from the beginning?
Describe the autumn breeze with all five senses, not just one as you're doing currently. How does it feel sweeping against your hair? How does it look, gathering all of the blazing leaves into the sky and letting them drift down like snowflakes again? Show us, don't just tell us that it's beautiful.
i got really confused from the start
it doestn make sense to me
and your pattern is way off
sooo..... yeah