You

by Dreamerst2

Published March 28, 2011

I am driving the lonely streets,
Where my house meets.
Driving myself home,
I see you all alone.

I stop next to you,
Behind you is the silver moon.
I get out your back facing me,
the air smells like mint.

I stand next to you without talking,
Sometimes at this point I think.
The wind close at our face,
I hope it brings us faith.

You look at me with a happy grin,
And then at the lovely scene.
I take my seat,
which is so neat.

Comments & reviews · 5
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Dreamerst2 Comment
Dreamerst2 commented Comment · Mar 29, 2011

thanks... :)

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dogs
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dogs wrote a review Review · Mar 28, 2011

Hey dogs here! firstly i love your poem! i really do enjoy reading it, a simple achievable goal that seems just out of reach. Now i do, however, have some small critics to put in.

I stand next to you without talking/sometimes at this point i think.
Now here i get a little bit confused. when you say "sometimes at this point i think" at which point are you referring to and what are you thinking. Or are you trying to display unsurity and attempt to show how this entire scene is just a fantasy. If you want to go above and beyond you can make this just a fantasy and in the end let it fade in the distance bringing yourself back to bitter reality. Just a thought, do what you think is best KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!






TuckEr EllsworTh

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Dreamerst2 Comment
Dreamerst2 commented Comment · Mar 28, 2011

oh reallies? i will try. :)

InspectorClouseau wrote a review Review · Mar 28, 2011

I connect with this! I apologize in advance I have a spacebar problem.

Yes much like my desire to catch the panther.

Your focus on "you" is so peculiar it makes me wonder if you are the follower?

what are you searching for? love? very sweet.

If only it were longer and explored these two identities a tad more.

it could be quite romantic, more than it is.

stay vigilant. and keep looking!

edit: it appears the post box here fixes my spaces. computers are new to me still.



You can't blame the writer for what the characters say.
— Truman Capote