Published May 14, 2010
It's a bit religious. I just want to put a little warning to those who aren't believers~
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Keep your chin up
Hold fast and stay strong.
You'll never change
What's been and gone.
Keep that wonderful smile
That everyone loves.
Show everyone
What you're made of.
You have gone
Through so much.
Take heart
And don't give up.
You know God loves you
Forever and always.
He will never leave you
For the rest of your days.
It's true that all of us
Will all fade away,
But try not worry
You'll see us someday
We will stay with you
Somewhere in your heart,
But remember your Father
Who is never far.
It's gonna be alright,
It's gonna be okay,
Knowing that you will be free
Someday.
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139,596 Literary Works • 672,615 Reviews
Hello!
Although the topic of God loving you can be beautiful to write about, it can get repetitive pretty quickly. What makes this poem different from the other fifty poems about God, somewhere on the Internet? Right now, there isn't much of anything that makes this poem stand out. Yes, it's a nice poem, but what makes it special?
Start with one angle you want to use, and examine every facet of that angle to find what take on God's love you can take. Once you've found that angle, write a poem that hits us in the heart and doesn't give the same doctrine that every poem seems to have.
I've read maybe a handful of religious poems, not many at all, and I can say that this poem sounds like the rest of them. The themes feel so worn and used, in anything religious, that the poem doesn't have much sticking power to actually make a reader look at the topic differently.
Hope this helps. PM me if you have any questions.
~Rosey
The only comment I have is that your fifth stanza needs punctuation to conclude it.