Do you fear the dark? Do you fear the feelings of sorrow? Do you fear the hateful words? Do you fear your tears? Do you fear the edges of Insanity? Do you fear yourself?
There are some who dislike the night, they fear the darkness as it encloses them, as it casts shadows over everything visible.You dislike the fact that you cannot see, but this is what I yearn for.
To let my pains and sorrows engulf me, to fell streams of tears pour down my face, to feel that delectable pain that I desire. My tears are not visible, not to you, not to anyone. Smiling I stare down at the sight before me, an eerie silver glow splashed out across midnight plains. How easy it is to touch the edges of insanity.
I look up to see shimmering orbs of silver encrusted into the night sky, as the soft breeze caresses my face. A sense of stillness and calmness overtakes me. Slowly I begin to distance myself from the dark promises of insanity.
I fall into darkness, into numbness, left with the sweetest of dreams. Dreams of happiness, of love and joy. The aching pain slowly leaves my heart as sweet memories hold me in gentle embrace.
As the dawn breaks, as hues of pink, orange and every other colour of sweetness spills on my face. A full smile breaks out. By day I am one who is filled with joy, at night I am filled with sorrow. The dark comes for a reason, it comes for our sorrows, for our secrets, to hold it within itself as we confide in it.
It leaves with sorrow and pain, with each sorrow, with each secret, the night delves deeper into darkness. It leaves us behind with happiness, with sweetness, readying as for another day, another day to greet with a smile.
Do you still fear the dark?
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I have one word to describe that. Wow. And I really do mean that; I have a lot of time for this kind of writing, and I love to see it done as well as you have done it.
I have struggled to find anything wrong with this. In terms of a story, it is as close to perfect as you are likely to find. But I have found one stupidly minute little typo. I'm so sorry.
"To let my pains and sorrow engulf me, to FELL streams of tears..."
I tell you, I nearly missed it. One little edit and this will be perfect. Watch out for typos like this one- if the mistake is still a different word, spellchecker won't detect it.
Ignoring that most minute of mistakes, I truly commend you on a fantastic bit of writing!
Crow29
Since you put this under short story, I'm going to correct some gramatical and punctuation things. If you like the way it is for the artistic value then you can ignore this next paragraph, but you might want to switch the category to poetry.
The first paragraph is comma splice after comma splice after comma splice. Change all of those commas to question marks or semicolons. The second paragraph has one coma splice and that's the first comma. Needs to be a period or semicolon. In your line "As the dawn breaks, as hues of pink, orange and every other colour of sweetness spills on my face." you need to deleat one of the "as"s.
Stylistically I don't really have anything to criticize. I like artistic descriptions instead of full plots and I love how your story has the shadow of a plot. Like there could be something more out there but we can't quite see it.
Overall, I love it and want to read more of your stories like this. Keep it up!