Published January 29, 2010
(I'm not really into poetry, but I made this up when my little brother was born.)
Yo yo yo,
I have a little bro,
His name is Aidan Jo,
And that's all you need to know.
(You don't have to comment on this, I just wrote it down because I was bored and I thought you would get a kick out of it.)
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,094 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
Really you guys, I was just messing around here. I know that it's not real poetry, I wasn't even trying. I just decided to post it just so that I could get some laughs.
Rap is actaully a form of poetry, so I guess this counts. Its very short though. Btw : Not all rap has yo yo yo in it but it fit and was good with the ryhme. This was funny cause it was very random.
~Spiderman~
That's cute. I don't think I can make a (some what) rap about my brothers because nothing really rhymes with their names.
~Lady purple.
Ahhahaha! This made me laugh!
Sadly, it's not really poetry. But it did make my day brighter.
I like the unconventionalness and randomness of it.
Well done!
~LPR
hahahahhahaha LOL! Nice! I do agree with everyone else too. Rap verse!
Very easy to read.
haha that was great. i hate to just repeat what everybody else is saying but it would make a pretty darn good rap verse lol. tell your little bro hi for me!
ROFL
! I love this poem!!! I'm a poet myself and I think this poem is new and original!! I agree with Ben Franks.....Do you rap? I know guys mostly do but I was just wondereing......
Hi,
Welcome to YWS!
This flows really well and it made me smile. The rhyme is simple and effective.
I like that it's to the point, but it may be interesting to add another four lines, keeping with the same rhythm and rhyme scheme. I'd write a new line for the first stanza and make "And that's all you need to know" the last line of the second stanza. This wouldn't necessarily be an improvement but I think that it would be fun to pursue.
Hope this helps. Feel free to P.M me if you ever need a poetry review.
Jas
Haha, I like the short and snappy rhythm you've got to this its one of those reads that you smile at! XD
Anyway, hello and welcome to YWS!
I'm Ben, if you were wondering!
The rhyme scheme is simple and though unoriginal it works nicely for the short piece you have here. I'd class this as more hip hop than poetic and perhaps could be a small rap or something?
As much as I enjoy this, it isn't particularly poetry, but you made me smile so thankyou!
Keep writing
Ben