Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Short Story » Spiritual

E - Everyone

Darkness

by Draculus


He didn’t want to open his eyes – he was afraid. The worst thing was that he’d known he’d see nothing, and he feared it the most. Although there wasn’t any difference between open or closed eyes, there wasn’t anything around him at all except for abysmal, evil darkness. He felt it mantle him, weightless and hefty and the same time. Around him, there were no sounds, no silhouettes, no motion, even not a smallest wind. And no souls – neither dead nor alive, but himself, somewhere in the middle. Though the darkness was silent, he could hear its voice: piercing into his head, moving through veins, muffling the heart.



He must do something.



But he couldn’t do anything at all. The brighter he imagined the absolute darkness and those ghosts that were lurking soundlessly around him, the stronger grew the feeling that all that – ghosts and darkness – wanted to haul him to their world, to dissolve him, to make him the nothing they were. The darkness ruled over everything in there, and there couldn’t be anything but darkness.



The fear of darkness was born in the early childhood when the errant imagination began creating horrible things where they hadn’t existed. Neither his parents nor psychologists were able to find the cause of it, but he had always felt someone’s presence in the dark corners. He knew that where a human eye couldn’t see the monstrous creatures lived, and every night they would come to get him. He didn’t know why. Had a guess that they needed to feed themselves and feared even more, because he didn’t want to be someone’s food. The monsters and the Darkness itself became his worst enemies who he used to run from instead of fighting. He had a reason to do so: it was much easier to turn on the lights than to force yourself not to cry when the dark was pressuring and letting its monsters go free again. Sleeping with a light on became a habit very soon, and his family accepted his unchangeable person. During daytime, when the sun was shining, he would assure himself that the fear will pass. But none of his hopes could become real; as soon as the night fell, cold sweat would flow down his forehead and neck, he’d curtain all the windows so he didn’t see the hostile faces with black holes where eyes must be, and he’d turn on the light in the entire house to let not the smallest piece of space for Darkness to live in. There was one exception – the basement that he’d never dared visit during many long years. Then he would blame himself for that wimpiness, being sure it was the basement where the terrors of darkness were coming from. The fear then grew into something bigger. If he was left near a darkened place or – which was much worse – surrounded by dark, he’d have a panic attack. Quicker breathing, spinning head, sweat streaming down his back, the whole body shaking, legs wobbling; his head was full of panic thoughts: What is there? What is there? What is there?! And at very last he would just faint and only come around in his bedroom. Every single time it happened his sick mind was drawing horrors much more dreadful than any horror movie. He was surrounded by spirits, ethereal bodies, formless phantoms with no faces, with slender arms that they would always draw out to reach him, they used to swallow him, look him in the eye and deafen him with their silent shouts. And then they would just disappear, and nothing was left after them, except the Darkness – it was his fears’ Empress. It was planting the panic inside him, it had always stood behind him and crept down his skin, giving him goose bumps, and there wasn’t a way to get rid of it. It was possible to fight the attacks with light, but then it stopped being of any use. A shadow that had followed him everywhere began its own life, it was ringing around him, as a reminder of the ordeal he dreamed about while being out of his consciousness, and of that the Darkness will always find a chink to sneak through inside his soul. It came to an absurd: he was afraid to close his eyes, being sure that he would never open them again. He knew: the Darkness will find him and bring him to where no one can return from, although he’d never known where that place was.



Now he understood that, possibly, he’d made a huge mistake when he preferred to turn the light on instead of turning it off. He didn’t know what exactly had happened; it was just one instant when the light disappeared, and nothing was left, except dark.



It’s came for me. He decided that it was his last clear thought.



Panic was penetrating inside him, streaming through him with the blood, misted the mind. He felt his heart rate quicken, breathing become sharp and whistling. His head began to spin. When he opened his eyes and saw nothing, he felt something wet on his cheeks. Tears, mixed with sweat, were falling down from his skin and disappearing in the dark. His back had already been wet through, as well as his chest and face, but there was no use in wiping the salty water off – he couldn’t help it. He wanted to shout; a cry if despair and helplessness was escaping his throat, but he heard nothing. Opened his mouth, pushed the voice out, but produced no sound. The was looking around, not able to stop weeping, but he saw nothing. No earth, no sky, no horizon, no items, no human beings – nothing that could pull him out from this place. If it was a place at all… If it was somewhere, somewhenand somehow. But everywhere around him was absolutely nothing, so it was impossible to understand.



Nothing was the worst thing for him in the entire world.



You can’t sense, comprehend, see or hear it, it’s deadly for a human. But, damn it, why nothing is always darkness?! What does it need? Why does it come? Why doesn’t it leave me alone? He’d never could understand it, it made him fear even more.



He sensed his legs tremble, then bend and become the air, and then he fell. There was no floor or ceiling, nothing to fall onto, so his entire body only dove into lightness. Is this really what turning into the Darkness begins with? He couldn’t even see his own body, but he felt every single atom of his cells; atoms themselves were dispersing and becoming nothing, mixing with the dark, mixing with the emptiness. All of a sudden, he started producing quite clever thoughts.



“You’re a fool,” passed through his mind and dissolved, “Remember what your mom was telling you: When you’re afraid, recall something that makes you laugh. Or sing a song. Or speak loudly and make a lot of noise. The fear lives where people are alone. Or what your daddy used to say: If you’re afraid of the dark, then it means it gains control of you. Show it that it’s wrong: conquer her. Watch the dark for as long as it’s possible until it becomes something you know, something you understand well enough to stop fearing it. And you, like an idiot, you were turning those lamps on all around the house. Don’t you think Darkness cares about the lamps? Fear is not something to live with, but something to fight. Otherwise, it will turn you into nothing. It’s a parasite, feeding on your despair, tears and panic. And you were feeding it for your entire life.”



When the last word sounded, the thought disappeared, he didn’t feel anything. He didn’t existed anymore.



He became what he was fearing all those years – he became the Darkness.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
93 Reviews


Points: 1136
Reviews: 93

Donate
Mon Apr 06, 2020 6:22 am
Tawsif says...



This was a different sort of story. And I kind of liked it.

The idea in this piece was very strong indeed. You portrayed the fear of darkness in the MC very nicely with striking imagery and some very thoughtful philosophical insights too. I personally like this kind of writing, that deals more with the mind and its thoughts rather than an interesting plot-twist or anything.

But you had some typos. For instance:

'He felt it mantle him, weightless and hefty and the same time'

Perhaps you meant 'at the same time'.

'Around him, there were no sounds, no silhouettes, no motion, even not a smallest wind.'

It should be 'the smallest of wind'.

'He knew that where a human eye couldn’t see the monstrous creatures lived, and every night they would come to get him.'

I simply didn't get this sentence. You need to reword this.

'Had a guess that they needed to feed themselves'

A 'subject' is missing here.

'his family accepted his unchangeable person'

Is it unchangeable person, or unchangeable character?

I liked this story overall. Look out for the typos, and it will be even better.

KEEP WRITING.




User avatar
93 Reviews


Points: 1136
Reviews: 93

Donate
Mon Apr 06, 2020 6:21 am
Tawsif wrote a review...



This was a different sort of story. And I kind of liked it.

The idea in this piece was very strong indeed. You portrayed the fear of darkness in the MC very nicely with striking imagery and some very thoughtful philosophical insights too. I personally like this kind of writing, that deals more with the mind and its thoughts rather than an interesting plot-twist or anything.

But you had some typos. For instance:

'He felt it mantle him, weightless and hefty and the same time'

Perhaps you meant 'at the same time'.

'Around him, there were no sounds, no silhouettes, no motion, even not a smallest wind.'

It should be 'the smallest of wind'.

'He knew that where a human eye couldn’t see the monstrous creatures lived, and every night they would come to get him.'

I simply didn't get this sentence. You need to reword this.

'Had a guess that they needed to feed themselves'

A 'subject' is missing here.

'his family accepted his unchangeable person'

Is it unchangeable person, or unchangeable character?

I liked this story overall. Look out for the typos, and it will be even better.

KEEP WRITING.




User avatar
5 Reviews


Points: 270
Reviews: 5

Donate
Thu Apr 02, 2020 3:27 pm
OddlyPlaced wrote a review...



I really liked this story! It reminded of the way I felt as a child when I would get in bed for the night.

I often spent hours awake when I should have been asleep imagining what horrible things could be hiding in the dark corners of my room, almost every night. I came to dread nighttime because I knew the fear would always come back.

This story describes the way I felt back then perhaps even better than I could myself. It even had the part about me having to sleep with a light on and my family not understanding why.

Great short story, I really enjoyed your style of writing as well:). Keep it up!




Draculus says...


Thank you! I'm very glad you liked the story. I also had used to feel like my character for a very long time, so this descriptions were surprisingly easy for me to compose. I'm glad I don't feel like this anymore, otherwise I'd just get mad, I suppose.



User avatar
31 Reviews


Points: 2199
Reviews: 31

Donate
Thu Apr 02, 2020 1:22 am
Alfonso22 wrote a review...



I identify with this experience since I had that same fear of darkness and the horrible things that such darkness might include and always slept with the hallway light partially illuminating my room.

Very impressive writing skills! You describe such a fear very graphically and convincingly convey the pathetic helplessness of mortal humans when they encounter denizens of the supernatural or spirit realm who are evil.

Such a morbid fear can be based on merely the imagination going haywire due to cultural or personality quirks or else on actual molestation by spirit creatures the Bible refers to as demons.

Happily, those who have faith in Jesus as their Savior,have no basis to fearing such spirits. In fact, these spirits were the ones fearful of being cast out whenever Jesus and his followers approached. Here ishow the Bible describes it.


Matt 8: 29
When Jesus arrived on the other side in the region of the Gadarenes, He was met by two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs. They were so violent that no one could pass that way. 29“What do You want with us, Son of God?” they shouted. “Have You come here to torture us before the proper time?” 30In the distance a large herd of pigs was feeding.…

Since I am very impressed by the fluency of your writing and the effectiveness of your style, I will look forward too reading more of your compositions. Thanks for sharing.

One small suggestion: Using smaller paragraphs will enhance readability. Big blocks of text discourage reading,




Draculus says...


Thank you very much for the review! I'm so glad you liked Darkness. I hope I will write more of this, and I hope you'll enjoy my other stories, too)



User avatar
1175 Reviews


Points: 1879
Reviews: 1175

Donate
Wed Apr 01, 2020 5:49 pm
Twit wrote a review...



Hi!

I like the idea of a fear of the dark being part of something bigger and founded in something real. That's a really cool idea.

However I struggled to connect with the character and the means through which you're exploring this idea. You begin in what seems to be the middle of a situation and present an interesting conflict - our narrator doesn't want to open his eyes. But we never come back to that, which is a shame as that's something that really grounds the beginning. It's something physical and located in the body, and it's something that a reader can easily latch on to. But as the story progresses it becomes more and more abstract - we flashback to the narrator's childhood but there aren't any scenes here, it's just description, and that doesn't help me stay grounded and connected to the story.

(Personally I find horror and abstract ideas much more effective when they're cased within something normal and everyday and tangible. If a concept is too abstract, there's nothing for me to grip onto.)

The story is a lot of description. It tells us what's going on in the narrator's head, but we never get closer to the action - and the horror - than that. So the ending doesn't resonate. He becomes the Darkness - okay, that sounds like a fate most of us would want to avoid. But what makes this special? What makes this Darkness truly strange? Why is becoming the Darkness an especial horror for this character? He's scared of the dark, yes, but so are many of us. What's the story saying?

As I said, I like the idea, and your writing style is clear and reads nicely. I just feel this was too abstract for me.

-twit




Draculus says...


Hello! I'm very grateful for that you got interested in my work and for that you spent your time writing a comment for it. I just would like to make some things clear, maybe it will help you understand the way I've written this story a bit better. It's not a horror story, in fact, it's rather a psychology story that concentrates on feelings, not on events, because this was my destination - to describe as colourfully as possible what happens in the head of a person who meets their fears and doesn't fight them. Like me. I was lucky enough to force myself to stop fearing the darkness, but I imagined a man who couldn't do it. So his fear overwhelms him, which is the main idea. well, at least it's what I tried to do) Anyway, thank you very much for the review!




Some call me a legacy, others call me a hero. But I assure you, dear admirers, I am only human.
— Persistence