I liked this. I feel the overall story with the struggle will be interesting. I'm sure someone else has probably mentioned this, but you should break it up into more paragraphs. It'd be a lot easier to read.

Hey hi!

Okay, first things first: The block of text here is actually kind of hard to read. It looks intimidating and is just a strain on the eyes. A good improvement would be to break it up into several paragraphs. You have several places throughout that could start their own paragraphs, so try breaking it up and it will be a lot easier to read.

I liked the voice of the narrator. I really did. Problem is, all she is doing is infodumping on us. We don't have much of a story, just a lot of stuff she is telling us, and then telling us that it isn't important. If it isn't important, then why is she telling us? It's okay to do that occasionally, in order to pique a reader's interest, but this is just a solid block of exposition that we don't care about yet because we don't know the character. Let us meet the character and get to care about her first before we get saddled with her life story.

All in all, this has potential. It looks like it could really be interesting, but for a beginning, it doesn't have much of a hook.

I'd still like to see where you go with this. PM me when you update! I'd like to see more.

~GryphonFledgling

I love the way you wrote this, but seriously I think you need to put this into more paragraphs. Your skipping from one think to another and it's kind of confusing. I had trouble figuring out who was speaking, too, at first.

I'm not sure if anyone has already said this, but I hoped it helped!

hello Kimmy

I was going to review this piece, but I realized I really couldn't. their isn't much here to be perfectly honest, This seems like more of a, back of the book description, then an actual prologue.

their is nothing wrong with this of course, just isn't that much to review.

what I can say is, I enjoy were the story could potentially head. Honestly at first glance I thought it was going to be some sort of cheesy romances but I was mistaken

Overall, like I mentioned, I enjoy were this story could lead, a few tips. Try and stay away from making it to cliche, I assume you plan on making this a long story, following the main character through her years in high school. Just remember, this has been written about many times, so a lot of creativity and hard work will be needed to create a masterpiece

Looking forward to a real Prologue or even a chapter one soon!

If you need any help please feel free to PM me!

-Zerkk

Ello! I saw no one had commented, and i was like, hey! I have some time.
I like the way you wrote this. The way the narrator is speaking is different, and rather refreshing. She has a voice, and is narrating as if actually speaking to you. I like that, a lot. Good job, You should PM me when you post more of this story, i would enjoy reading it!
~Classy