The walls, they seem to get closer and closer. They are caving in, and I can’t move. I can’t scream. My legs, why won’t they move? Why won’t my feet budge?
The loneliness is growing heavier. Crashing into me with every breath. I feel like I’m suffocating. Suffocating in my own suffering. Suffocating on my own weaknesses.
I can’t hold up under this pressure. I’m going to break at any moment. Break into a million pieces that can’t be put back together. I’m lost in this place I call home. No one to talk to, no one even sees me.
Blank eyes stare right past me, no one even acknowledging me. Voices floating by, none directed at me. Is this how it’s going to stay? Is this the life I will live? Lonely and suffocating?
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,695 Literary Works • 675,575 Reviews
They are caving in, and I can’t move. I can’t scream.
To better you flow you can say.
They are caving in, and I can’t move or I can’t scream for help.
Something like that it's a bit choppy there.
I know how you feel life sucks like that no recognition from people but hey those people are no fun any way. You're poem is nice, in the the sense it's over all well written. But you can feel the loneliness and grief. Good job.
This is sad, but I loved it. You did a great job on this poem. I love it when I read dramatic poems with an emotional tone. I can definitely relate to this. I have experienced ample of sadness in life, but of course I learned to be strong and made myself happy. But seriously, this poem is relatable to anyone who experience a grief moment. This piece is beyond awesome like you as an author/poet. I have no criticism for this. You did great. So keep up the fabulous work and keep believing.
[P.S. I like your name/username "DontStopBelieving." Reminds me of the Journey band.]
Simple, but effective. (Y)
I loved this. I can relate to all of it (which is why the title gripped my attention).
It's so...so... how I feel. I can't explain. It's like this poem expresses exactly how I think. So that being said, I can't find anything wrong with it.
"No one to talk to, no one even sees me." This is one of the best lines. It shows how that feels. It's like no one will acknowledge your presence. Just great.
"They are caving in, and I can’t move." This. This, this, this. It perfectly explains that feeling of overwhelming helplessness, like you can't do anything. Fantastic.
Sorry for the short review. Keep on writing.
-M.P. Tigers