Fear married my soul and I was not invited

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Respected Human,

This letter is to inform you that your soul has married fear and will be moving into your life forever.

I'm sorry, we couldn't inform you until later. You really missed a beautiful ceremony. The vows they took before they said their I do's was just very pretty, personally I myself teared up a bit seeing that. But whatever better late then never right?

I wanted to inform you that fear and soul will be living in your life from now onwards. You should prepare yourself for the frequent visits Insecurities, a dear friend of them will be paying you.

Don't try, I repeat my self  DO NOT try and ever ask Insecurities to leave without its own will, because if you do so, fear will get upset and it's your soul that will ultimately weep.

Also the couple wanted me to tell you that your brain is the place they will be living in temporarily, before they move down to your heart. Hope you don't mind it.

Some days they may live in harmony while some days they may fight, but whatever happens it's you that will have to adjust  to them as both fear and soul are very stubborn.

I apologise again for the very short notice. Everything happened so fast that I couldn't really help it. 

Hope you have a fearful cheerful existence.

Yours sincerely,

The Universe.

Comments & reviews · 5
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Lucia
Review
Lucia wrote a review · Wed Nov 02, 2016 6:54 pm

Hey DivergentDemigod, (can I call you "Demi"? :D)

The idea of this piece was really cool! I found the letter to be very thought provoking, and I particularly enjoyed that the context of the letter is a wedding. :) Something I thought would be really interesting, would be if you wrote another story about Fear and Soul's home life. Perhaps from the perspective of Soul, you could write about how Fear is abusive or how Insecurities is a messy slob. All with the appropriate meaning, obviously. :) Anyhow, I'd be interested to hear the story continue. :D

There are just a few nitpicks and suggestions I'd like to bring up. The first sentence:

This letter is to inform you that your soul has married fear and will be moving into your life forever.
Why are the "your"'s italicized? Is it an artistic choice? If so, you should italicize all the "you"'s, "your"'s, and "yourself"'s. Also, have you and your soul moved into your life, or has fear moved into your life? If you meant that fear has moved into your life, perhaps your sentence should be something like this: "This letter is to inform you that fear has married your soul, and will be moving into your life permanently."
There were some commas that were noticeably missing from the letter. For example:
You should prepare yourself for the frequent visits Insecurities, a dear friend of them will be paying you.
Without commas separating "a dear friend of them" from the rest of the sentence, the sentence is readable, but a little confusing.
Also, if you're going to capitalize "Insecurities" (thus denoting it as a name) you should capitalize "Fear" and "Soul" as names as well.

You came up with a really interesting idea for this work! Good job! (queue applause)
There are just a few grammatical rules that need to be applied to the letter, but that's small potatoes, and something I'm confident you can do yourself.
Something that helps me when I write, is to read through my work, and, one sentence at a time, ask myself, "Does this sentence flow? Is it confusing? Does it convey exactly what I meant?" If not, play with the sentence a little. Find a different way to spell out what you want to say. Another tip is to read the piece aloud. If it doesn't sound right, something should change.
As I said before, you have a really good idea for this, and it's something I'd like to see more of. So, if you decide to write a sequel letter, let me know! :D

This review was not intended to criticize you. It was intended to help you write better, and I hope it did just that.
Keep writing!

Cheers!

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Impetus9 Comment

That is creative

Thanx :)


n hit the like button if u enjoyed it! ^^

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MrBrainwasher
Review

These fear, soul and insecurities were running like persons in my mind. Beautifully written.
"We couldn't inform you until later"
That's what universe is writing to us. Beautiful
Now review
Very few grammatical mistakes like
late than never*
I want to inform*
Commas were required at several places like
But whatever, better*
PLUS its not a short story, and you could have chosen a better title.
That's it. I don't think I can write something like this.
15? Really?
Great.

Yes I'm 15 haha.
Thank you anyway. .I'll edit the mistakes right away.^^

Greetings from The Swordsman!!!

This was an interesting piece. Overall I liked it. It depicts the way that life will throw us a curve ball from the very start. Fear is something that we have to live with, regardless of whether we want it to or not. It is something that we are have from the day we are born, to the moment we die.

There were a few spots that I think you were missing a word. For instance,

"You should prepare yourself for the frequent visits insecurities, a dear friend of them will be paying you."

I think that you need the word 'of' between 'visits' and 'insecurities'. 'Insecurities' here should be capitalized as it is being given personification, and a comma after 'a dear friend of them'.

"But whatsoever better late then never right?"

I don't think you meant to put 'whatsoever' at this part. Might be an autocorrect issue.

Like I said, I really did like this short piece and there was a good theme behind it. I look forward to seeing more of your stories in the future.

Happy Writing!!!

Thank you...and I'll edit the mistakes right away.

User avatar
Transport222
Review

The short story was definitely in the Halloween spirit. I loved the short informal letter format that you used for your story and I thought that I worked very well.
Just a few 'nitpicks':
"The vows they took before they said their I do's was just very pretty"
I believe that that part of your letter would make more sense if you replaced the "was" with 'were'.
I was a bit confused by the "But whatsoever better late than never right?"
Maybe this is just me but I'm not sure what "whatsoever" means. Sorry and that's probably just me.
But really 10/10 from me. The format and idea is fresh and I know that I would be super creeped out if I found a letter saying this. Spooky. I love it!



I am proud of my self, the reason why some of you might disagree with me a little with, but nevertheless I still proud.
— Oxara