I know you really want to read the story, but if you could just listen to a few things I have to say first, things will just be happier :)
First, I'm sorry to say that chapter three won't be out for a while, probably not until late July or early August. This is because I'm leaving on Wednesday for vacation and won't have access to internet.
Second, I'm sorry if there are any mistakes in this chapter. There's been a lot going on in my life right now and I'm finding it hard to focus long enough to edit well.
Third (and this kind of connects to #2), there's been a lot going on in my life so no guarantees on the rest of this story even being written. I know you're all intrigued, but I've been having technology issues, emotional issues, and family issues.
I hope you understand, and I love you all ~~
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Blossom spent the next couple of days alone in her room, working on her drawing. She had ended up adding a cemetery in the background of the drawing, behind the house. She just kept adding to the drawing, trying to keep her mind off the trip to Miami. Her mom didn’t bother her much, probably to give her some space before they had to sit beside one another on a plane and stay together with Aunt Poppy for two weeks.
Blossom was shading in one of the gravestones when she heard her mother call her name. Blossom sighed, stood up, and hurried to the top of the stairs. She looked down at her mother who was holding the phone out to her.
“It’s Tyler.”
Blossom nodded and dashed down the stairs, took the phone, and hurried back up to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.
“Hey, Tyler. What’s up?”
“Not much. I was just wondering if I could go hang out at your house for a while. My air conditioning-lacking house is like 150 degrees and there is absolutely nothing to do.”
“I’m not sure how much there is to do over here, and besides,” Blossom wiped sweat from her forehead, “we don’t have air conditioning, either.”
“Yes, but you have a very nice backyard that we can be in. All I’ve got here is the somewhat grassy area that we share with our neighbours. Ple-e-e-ase?”
“Fine,” Blossom sighed, “But there isn’t much to do in the backyard.”
“But I’ll at least have someone to talk to.”
Blossom and Tyler ended their conversation, and Tyler said he would be over in a few minutes, seeing as he only lived a couple of blocks away. Blossom cleaned up her drawing materials a bit while she waited. Sure, she was disorganized and a complete slob, but good drawing materials were expensive and also easy to lose. She made sure to take extra good care of her special materials.
She was just heading down the stairs when the doorbell rang. Blossom almost skipped to the door, glad that she was finally seeing someone who wasn’t of blood relation. She threw open the door...to find Angela. Blossom deflated, her excitement flooding out of her.
“Hey there, kiddo.” Angela smiled at Blossom.
“I hate it when you call me kiddo.” Blossom replied, scowling.
“I know. That’s why I do it. Duh.” Angela pushed past Blossom and set down a few bags. “Is Aunt Bubbly here?”
“Don’t call my mom that.”
“Why? There’s nothing wrong with being bubbly.”
Blossom was going to reply, but her mom swept around the corner, her eyes finding Angela immediately. She smiled and went right to hug her.
“I thought I heard your wonderful voice!” She let go of Angela and looked at Blossom, her smile slipping when she saw Blossom’s glare. “And you should be nicer to your cousin.”
“You didn’t tell me she was coming over.” Blossom said, trying to relax and let go of her glare. It was probably just making Angela feel better about herself.
“Oh, I’m sorry, ma’dear. I thought I had told you. Angela is going to stay with us until we leave next week. That’s okay with you, right?”
“Of course.” Blossom replied, forcing the lie out. It was absolutely not okay with her. Angela and her with like north and south. Hot and cold. Up and down. Everyone stood staring at each other and the awkward moment didn’t end until the doorbell rang again. Blossom immediately opened it and pushing herself out, closing it behind her as quickly as possible. She turned to look at a surprised looking Tyler.
“A little anxious to get out of there?” He asked.
“Yeah, a little. I thought we could take the back gate around.”
“That’s a great idea,” he smiled, “but I have a better one. Why don’t we go down to the ravine? The one with the stream?”
“You’re right- that is a better idea. Let’s get walking.” Blossom pulled Tyler down the driveway until he started walking on his own. Blossom glanced sideways at him, only now taking in his current appearance. His blonde hair was just as messy as usual and he was wearing his white muscle shirt that he only wore on really hot days. His jean shorts were baggy and the ends hovered right above his knees, a chain hanging from the right pocket. He was wearing black flip flops on his feet, a chain around his neck, and a black wristband around his wrist.
“Is there something on your mind?” Tyler asked.
At first, Blossom was going to lie and say that everything was fine, but then she realized that Tyler might be the only person she could vent her true feelings to. So she opened up and told him everything- about the trip, about her and her mom’s latest argument, and about Angela having to go now, too. By the time she was finished, her and Tyler had reached their usual spot in the ravine. Their spot was in the small clearing where the stream spread out a bit and calmed. The lighting was dim because the trees that surrounded the clearing’s branches and leaves closed over top, making it one of the most beautiful places that Blossom had ever seen. She had tried to draw it more than once but had never been able to capture its beauty.
Blossom sat down on the dirt ground and Tyler sat down beside her, starting to respond to her story. “Well, if I were you, I wouldn’t complain about Angela going along.” Blossom rolled her eyes. Tyler had always had a major crush on her cousin, even though Angela didn’t even know he existed. “But I know that you don’t feel the same way I do,” Tyler continued, “and I understand why you’re so frustrated with the trip that is happening.”
“I wish you could come so I wouldn’t be so alone.”
“I probably could,” Tyler said. “And now that you mention it, it sounds like a wonderful idea. I should go ask my mom.”
“Don’t get all excited. Mother said no male friends can come. I find it ridiculous that she’s so suspicious of me, especially with someone like you. I’ve known you for like all my life.”
“And there’s no way you can convince her to let me go?”
“Probably not.” Blossom sighed, staring out at the quiet water. They sat in silence for a couple more minutes.
“You know,” Tyler said quietly. “The trip might not be so bad. If you look at it in a positive way, you might even have fun. Don’t look at it as you being forced to leave your friends and home to go on a trip. Look at it as taking time away from your summer to go and help your aunt move in. I’m sure your aunt appreciates the help.”
“Why are you always right?” Blossom asked, leaning against his side. There were more minutes of silence before Blossom spoke again. “I just really wish you could come. It would make helping my aunt more fun.”
“And I wish I could go. I’ll be bored and lonely while you’re gone.”
“I just don’t understand my mom. You and I have only ever been friends, and that’s all we’ll ever be. Why does she think we’ll get together or something?”
“I don’t know.” Tyler replied. Blossom thought she heard something like sadness or longing in his voice, but she ignored it and continued to stare at the water.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Hey there, I'm Hawk and I'm here to review!
I haven't read your first chapter (yet!) so I don't quite know the story or characters as well, and as such, I won't mention anything about them. Storywise, again, I'm not exactly sure what's going on, but from what I can gather you've done a god job of portraying the emotions and different characters.
I've only got a few points to make:
See how many times you said "drawing" within this short period? That's waaay too many. Cut it down or use different words--then you can also show off your extensive vocabulary.
You've changed tenses here: "opened" to "pushing" and "closing." Reword it so it all fits and is consistent. For example: Blossom immediately opened it and pushed herself out, closing the door behind her as quickly as possible.
That should be "she", not "her." If you took out the "and Tyler" part and just read it as it is, it'd sound wrong: By the time she was finished, her had reach the spot..." See how that's incorrect? Just a little tip for using the correct pronoun form--take out any extra characters and just read it aloud with the "her" or "she" and see if it sounds right.
Overall, it sounds good and looks like you've got the makings of a romantic tale; I'm intrigued. Keep up the good work, and PM me if you've got any questions!
Hi,
I liked it. Just as good as the first chapter. I can't wait to read the rest, and I really hope you liked it. No nit picks.
PM for anything.
~Retro Disco666