Depression

Hey!

Okay, one word WOW. Other than the fact that this poem is probably my new all-time favorite, but also, so very relatable in my case. I love how the begining is the doubts of the father. And then, the end it turns to the victim speaking openly about how she feels about life and her troubling depression.

Very great, keep it up!(:

Hello there! Wow I liked this so much! i just love how you had both perspectives of you and your parents. It had strong emotion and that made for good reading. I don't have anything bad to say. All I have to say is keep up the good work XD

All I can really say here is wow. The emotions in this poem are overwhelming. The whole thing really makes you think about whats going on. It is pressing. The only thing I do not understand is where the title fits in. I get that the narrator or narrators are talking about a child, but it would have helped to incoorperate the title or a description of the title in the peice. But overall it is very good. I like it.

hello i'm James!
Okay so even though your work is good i would just like to say that you'r wrong. parents would never do that and think of their child in that way and i know how cruel and gossipy this world is but you'r parents will never be ashamed of their daughter. we kids have to shine for them to make them proud as we discover our abbilities and if you'r really in deppression that is because you are 13 and have entered adolasence and will go through a rough patch.
need any help PM me

I love how you kept the same poem but from two different perspectives. In the third stanza, you could add more detail but I like how you don't know exactly what she had done. It makes you kind of wonder about it.

I really love it and the strong emotion.

Love it. Love it. Love it.

Simple as that.

~Retro Disco666

I love this poem! it is charged with emotion. You can sympathize with the speaker's sense of shame and fear of her parent's reaction. Full of woe, self pity, and flow. Good job! I love it! Keep up the good work! I especially like the end of the poem the "why's" you can easily see the desperation and the sorrow of the speaker. Great! 10/10

Hi,

The tones here are great, they really complement the piece. "And be ashamed of this daughter of mine" is great.

I'd add more specific imagery to the third stanza of how the daughter behaves and how people are reacting to it, rather than making general statements.

The two stanzas in the daughter's voice work well.

But if you are suffering with depression please talk to someone. There are resources out there if you don't want to talk to someone you know.

Hope this helps,

Jas

Wow, this is a good poem with very strong emotion! I love the way you talked from two different perspectives, but kept the same poem. Very well done.