Young Writers Society

I finished reading your poem and thought I would take the time to write a small review on it. First of all, just to say that I really liked the poem and as I can see it, its very well written. Using rhyme in your poem was a very effective technique as it made the poem more enjoyable to read. What the poem is about is a very serious topic and thus makes the poem thought provoking and it inspires us to change that reality mentioned in the poem which if we continue like that, well eventually reach. I also thought the rhythm of the poem reflected the world spinning on its axis, of history repeating itself. Then the images used at the start of the poem are very beautiful. I don't think you would need to change it as your poem is perfect as it is now, as it conveys your own style and voice in poetry.
Well done!!

Wonderful poem!! Very deep and I can relate it with my own personal values.

Hi! Welcome to YWS!! Thought I'd drop in for a quick review.

First of all, your poem is very well-written and is able to show the reader the reckless nature of the modern generation in the true and original way without any added glorification of nature or denunciation of the developments of this age. You were able to express your true emotions in this poem, which, I think, is a quality of a good poet. Repetition of the word "spin" increases the impact of the poem on the reader's mind. The poem, as a whole, was thought provoking and powerful. It was well-punctuated and I didn't notice any grammatical errors either. However, I
would recommend starting a new stanza after each line in which the part about the earth continuing to spin is mentioned. Moving on, I was a bit confused on reading this line:
"For it will take all it can until it is fiction."
I wanted to know if "it" refers to the entire human race collectively and whether the word "fiction" is a metaphor to the time when the world will no longer exist due to our recklessness. Also, the fifteenth line should have been something like this: "We will destroy it in our state of hate." Here, again, the word "hate" can be misinterpreted. Towards whom is our hatred- towards our fellow beings for their recklessness or towards the earth for slowly deteriorating and not being able to provide us with sufficient resources. I recommend replacing it with "haste", because it will refer to our greed for wealth, in the process of which our values are lost.

Anyways, the poem you wrote is lovely and is bursting with life and emotions. You are an awesome poet. Keep up the good work!

Hey there, I really like your poem. It is very thought provoking. I like the format of your poem. What was your inspiration? Just the general craziness happening in the world right now? I've always liked that thought. No matter how crappy life is getting it's still going to go one with or with out you so might as well make the most of it.