we've made a contact but worship silent i make a whisper i am a sinner

author's note (read me): prose poem. strong language and sensitive topics; sex, substances, suicide, etc. everything that is supposed to be tackled 'delicately' concussed. I do not write poetry for anyone but myself, which includes punctuation and capitalization choices. thank you.

To start off your writing perfectly captivates the reader even at times of intense moments I felt compelled to continue reading.

The “Jackie” character to me, symbolizes a dead end point in life where you can no longer feel the joy in the moment. I know the feeling well of having to reach out to damaging substances or practices in order to mask feelings of pure sadness.

I am from a small town so your third and fourthparagraphs really did reach me. It’s like time never stops or goes forward, anything you do seems like it has no benefits or consequences. Sometimes it feels as if you are stuck inside a constant loop of insanity hearing the exact same songs, seeing the exact same people, and having the fifteenth conversation in a row.

I also love heavy poetry that depicts life in a non-sugarcoated way, because life is something which gives no one any warnings. It feels like there is no hope in this poem, the narrator looks to Jackie as if she is less than, despite the fact the narrator is right beside her. It feels as though whoever is speaking feels as if they are better than Jackie, solely because they are aware of their surroundings. I think it’s a cool(sorry I could not think of like a fancy word) approach to tell a poem in the perspective of a somewhat “unreliable” character.

Really great poem overall! Can’t wait to read more!

honestly man idk where to start with this. it's such a poignant reflection on society and the cycle of destruction. it's harsh, but it's sooo beautiful.

this whole poem is SO overwhelmingly bleak and nihilistic. it's like the narrator is watching all of the chaos from a distance, while still having darker, more comedic self deprecation moments. like "yeah maybe i am having a rough time, but at least i can admit it" or something. the stream-of-consciousness writing style feels perfect for this as well; the mental health issues, the drugs, the toxic relationship. compared with the visceral imagery of drugs and poverty, it's golden.

i don't personally mind more sensitive themes in poetry, so i can't talk from that perspective. but man, this is heavy. i feel like it's easier to read something about substances or difficult situations when it's not written so invasively. both jackie and the narrator are LIVING in the midst of it, so it's like the reader is standing in their shoes. they are deeply enmeshed in this world yet seeking an escape somehow, which could even mean suicide. it's pure misery.

there's something so beautiful about brutality. even down to the description of the grandfather's shotgun and other small war details. (speaking of war, the holocaust imagery is SO unique.) i typically comment on depth of imagery when i review, but i feel like i can't here. however, i wish there was a little more background on these two personas. how did they get into this? jackie seems like such a brilliant character to expand on for example. her lore is insane, even the little bits here.

there are so many thoughts floating around my head, but i'm not sure how to say them. i could probably spend hours analyzing each line.

speaking of that;

jackie compares it to norman rockwell, but she never made it out of eighth grade.