Young Writers Society

Your work needed a second review, so, here you go!

I really like how you've described fire in your poem. In spit of the apparent lack of structure, I think you're poem is well-worded.

Here, I have broken up your poem in a way that makes more sense to me:

as hot as summer
as cold as winter
entering our life
with a sudden lie
that it will be near
that it will burn
our souls forever
in our arms even
if we don't want it
to be any closer it
will always be watching us
through it's perceptive eyes
with a haunting, terrifying lie
that it will never leave us alone
the one person who deceives us
the one who loves us
and the one who will always
care for us even when
we are no longer alive