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140,240 Literary Works • 673,051 Reviews
I love this, though it is sad. Curiosity strikes us all, but its up to us to decide how we deal with it. Everybody has about fixed this poem, though I will say what I thought, though I am guessing its already there. You need to space out this poem a little better, so
You are a great writer, and with effort, you will go far, I can almost guarantee it!
that way the lines don't look too long. And on the seventh line it says : Curiosity be can horrible,
I am guessing you meant "Curiosity, can be horrible"
This is a really great poem, and with a little editing, it will be perfect! Good job. And by the way, I follow anyone I review, so consider yourself followed.
Hi, Spark here to review!
Aw, this is whimsical! I love the adorableness of it, but I also love that it brings a different light on some rather serious topics. The format however, is kind of chunky. I would suggest changing it a little to make it easier to read.
For example,
Do you see how much easier that is to read?
I suggest trying that on the rest of your poem too, it's much easier to enjoy that way.
Now, on to the actual content. I feel like if you just chose one example and expand on the theory a little more, it would be a lot easier for this poem to make an impact. You could talk about the small child who was... what? Was she kidnapped? Hit by a car? Saw something she shouldn't? Murdered? Or you could expand about the father leaving his children. However, I really like the last line. It put the poem together quite nicely. Good job!
<3
Spark
Hello there here is a jordin or a Jonathan with a review I really hope it helps you out.
Well you can be right in some cases but in most it is not but this is not a court of justice.
OK good work on this but I thought it was strange that it could kill a cat and another thing you could cut out the YES in the second line.
Really good work though.
Keep writing and good luck.
Until later good bye.
~Jon~
I did make a mistake on the 7th line. There is suppose to be a "be" after the word "Curiosity"
Overall, it feels like a solid start. Line seven, you're missing a word, I'm assuming a "be". Also, I'm not sure is you need the "Because," at the start of line two.
I like how you don't use a rhyme scheme on the first two lines. The difference makes them stand out a bit more to me. Also, your straightforward style is something i can appreciate.
Thanks!