Heya, Deeproses! Casanova here as promised to do a review!
The first thing I noticed about this poem was it's length- well the lack of it. You basically have three lines that's nothing but adjectives describing something. I'm guessing you're saying,"Belle," is a rose in light, but we're not given the comparison. Now, if you're going for the adjectives I would say add some sort of ending to this. What we have now is three lines describing something, but it doesn't really end, and that bug me. What I mean about no ending is that we have the description, but no way of actually knowing what you're comparing it to/what is the thing being described doing. I think having that answered would be a good start.
The next thing I would suggest would be make it longer. I've seen a lot of poetry that is just a few lines, and they work out great. This one, however, seems to be not finished and I would love to see it finished. I do, however, love that you keep the rose imagery flowing throughout a lot of your poetry. I did write a poem called,"Roses and Thorns," so I understand the love for flowers and comparing them to every day things, or special occasions depending on the type of flower it is.
Anyway, that's all I have to say on this one and I hope it helped.
Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on keeping on.
Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron
Points: 3571
Reviews: 624
Donate