Published June 27, 2012
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139,872 Literary Works • 672,782 Reviews
Awesome!
'Tis gibberish guys. Literally whatever came out of my mind at 12 o'clock midnight.
Okay so this was a strange poem that led me along quite well until I got to the part about zombies lol. At that point, I realized it was more just a silly poem than a deep one. One typo, replace "Th" with "The"
I like the way the end of each stanza brings you right into the begining of the next. The poem also comes full circle at the end.
Good job,
Here is my edited version, you don't have to take my suggestions if you like the way it is now.
Light
What is Light?
Does it have any
Meaning?
What makes meaning
Have any
Weight?
Not the weight
That you lift or gain, but
Thought
The thing
That requires a
Brain,
That of which
A zombie will
Crave
Like ice cream
on a hot summer
Day.
Where you play
Untill clouds cover the
Sun
Which creats heat and energy
In the form of
Light.
I think it has good potental, but you should work on your rhyming some more. Also think about your punctuation placement. This poem has a good story, but is missing some flowing action.
Art
It's not a story. It is simply losely connected thought. And I broke it that way on purpose. Did you notice how each time I started a new stanza the subject of the stanza was on top?
Such an interesting poem. It asks a question, then answers the question. Very interesting and impressive. Continue to write for the sake of writing and follow your pursuit of being a poet.