Young Writers Society

Tantia, August XX 1995

Apparently, my birth mother put some very strong hexes on this diary. Therefore, Draco is at Saint Mungo's at this moment and Mother is in tears. Father has either locked himself in his study or left the house, both which seemed excellent ideas at the moment.

I have decided to call Bellatrix mumsy, something I've never called my adopted mother. Speaking of mothers, my family has been driving me crazy the last few days.

First of all, there's Draco. Serves him right for sneaking about and trying to get a peek at my diary. Nasty little brat. And then there's Mother, who's sobbing because her precious little nincompoop has sprouted very large antlers and elephant ears. She thinks it's terrible and is almost ready to confiscate this diary.

What! I hope not.

Hello?

Hello, Tantia Malfoy. I am the Diary.

You can talk?

Do you hear any noise? I can write. I can read what you write. But what I mainly do is listen.

I don't want to be rude, but Mr.

Miss. I'm female. My brother is a Mr.

Sorry, Miss Diary. But that's just it, your brother. See, the last diary that talked had....other motives. How do I know that you're-

Really a Diary? Not a person? But I am. I can prove it if you want. I was created fifty years ago, by a girl who's only friend was her diary. That was me. She enchanted me on her sixteenth birthday, and ever since then, I have listened to the eldest daughters of her line. I am their closest and dearest friends, and they can always trust me, for when they passed me on to their eldest daughter, their words sink into my pages never to be found.

Did you hex my brother?

Yes. It was great entertainment, don't you think?

Yes, thank you.

You do not need to be formal with me, Tantia. I am here to listen. I rarely give advice, and when I do it is not always the best and never what you want to hear. I act as a mirror of your soul, showing you truth and who you really are. I ask questions with answers you do not want to hear but know are true. But my main purpose is to listen to your greatest fears, deepest woes, highest dreams. I am the Diary, and I listen.

Does Mother know about you?

Yes

So she won't panic when I show you to her?

She was not surprised with what happened to your brother. Neither was your father.

How can you prove your not lying?

I would show the last entry.

I thought you said wrote that words sunk into your pages when they passed you on to their daughters.

The last girl wanted you to read it. It happens often. If you read this entry, then you will know that I will always care for my friend.

Show me.

Turn the page.

Wait, first, who was the last girl who wrote in you?

Your mother. Bellatrix Lestrange.

Bellatrix, October XXXI 1981

Tonight I shall find him. I know.

The Longbottoms. They know where he is. I shall bring him back and he shall reward me. I will make them tell me all they know. I will find him and bring him back.

Tonight it the darkness is complete and overpowering. When I come, none will know I am there. The moon is partly covered by ghostly wisps cloud and the stars are high, cold and bright.

I was so close. Victory was ours at last. And then this.

How could of it happened? A boy? A baby? Vanquish him? But he will come back. He will always come back.

Do not go, Bellatrix.

What? After all the time I have waited? This is my first lead.

Do not go.

I must. Tonight I will find him.

You know you will not. Do not go, Bellatrix.

I will.

Do not go.

I will. I will find him.

You will not. Do not

I will find him. I will triumphant! I will make those who defied him feel pain. I know what I am doing Diary.

You know this is futile.

It is not futile. I will bring him back!

Not just the Longbottoms. He is futile. He is not for you. He will never love you, Bella

Liar! Traitor!

He is unable to bring you love, or happiness or anything worth having. He will only destroy you. He is already doing this. You are not the girl I knew.

I am not a girl any longer. I am his most loyal servant. He has taught me the dark arts. He will rise again and I shall stand with him. We shall triumphant over those who defied me. I shall make them feel pain as never before. I am a woman now, and I am stronger than anyone ever imagined.

Your pride shall be your downfall.

There is no downfall. There shall never be any downfall! I am strong. We are strong. We shall conquer.

Do not do this, Bella.

You can not stop me.

Do not do this.

Silence!

Do not do this.

You can not stop me. Give me your blessing, closest friend.

No.

Traitor! I do not need your blessing! I do not need you! My daughters shall never touch you.

Please, Bellatrix.

I will destroy you. I can not let anything that defies my master exists.

Do not go.

Do not do this.

It will destroy you.

Tantia, August XX 1995 (later)

What did she do?

Tortured the Longbottoms into insanity.

You're telling me that my birth mother is some crazy lady who tortured people into insanity?

Tantia, would I lie to you? I am the diary, I cannot lie.

You're not exactly helping me feel any--wait what did she mean by "daughters?"

You have a sister, Tantia.

I have a what?

A sister, and please don't drop me next time I give you shocking news--it hurts.

If I have a sister, why isn't she here?

You're sister--Capricorn, was placed with your other aunt, Andromeda, as a baby on the orders of Albus Dumbledore.

The worst thing that ever happened to Hogwarts?

Tantia, it all depends on your way of looking at life.

Stop with all the complicated, wise sayings that mean absolutely nothing Diary! I want answers, I want to know the truth! You know everything I want to know--tell me!

Tantia, are you sure? Some answers are best left hidden and unfound.

Whatever that means. All I know is that I found out my true mother was a crazy Death Eater lady who tortured people into insanity and I have a sister called Capricorn. Is she really Capria Tonks?

Yes, your sister and school enemy are one and the same, Tantia.

Excellent. Who was my birth mother in love with?

Voldemort, and stop dropping me!

Don't say--write that!

Why? You really think

Just don't. Please don't.

As you wish, Tantia. Anyway, before you dropped me I was saying your mum was in love with You-Know-Who.

Thanks for telling me.

I told you, some answers are better left unfound and hidden.

Why? How could she? Eww. Does Mother know?

Your "Mother," Narcissa Malfoy is happily unaware of that fact.

I've had the worst day ever.

1.) My mun tortured people into insanity

2.) She was also in love with You-Know-Who

3.) The girl I've hated for the last four years of my life is my sister

I told you, I am the Diary. I cannot lie, no matter how much you want the lies.

I don't want the lies!

You don't? Tantia, you want the lies, you want to not believe any of this. But I cannot give you the lies.

For the last time! I don't want lies, Diary!

You do not want the truth either.

The only good thing that happened is that Draco grew antlers.

Yes, I did have quite a lot of fun doing that.

Capria, August 21 1995

I've decided it doesn't matter.

My real mother is Andromeda Tonks. She the one who raised me, loved me, and she's never killed anyone.

But I still feel dirty. I have murderess blood in my veins.

It's very late. I can't sleep. Or maybe I'm just afraid to. Last night I had the strangest dream. Bellatrix broke out of Azkaban and tried to get me to marry Draco. I tried to tell her that I couldn't stand him, besides, we're cousins. But she just screamed at me, calling me a blood traitor and shame to the family. I told her she wasn't my family, but she just laughed a high, wild laugh and raised her wand.

And then I woke up, shaking and sweating. Maybe I should have told Mum. But I didn't. It was too personal.

The candles are burning low, and the darkness is outside is creeping over the window. The moon is covered by heavy clouds, and the stars are too far away to give any light.

How could be that only a few days ago the biggest concerns in my life was the Children of the Phoniex and my new pet? I was acting so silly then. Like this was some sort of game.

Because I know she'll break out of Azkaban. And then what? Does she remember me? Will she try to find me? And what will she do when she does?

I'm sorry for all the ink spots. The lack of sleep is making my hands shake.

I can't let this new knowledge define me. Bellatrix is not my mother. The fact that she birthed me means nothing. Whatever they say, blood is not thicker than water.

It doesn't matter. I'm Andromeda Tonk's daughter no matter what.

I haven't talked about this yet to Dad or Dora. I probably should. I wonder if they know. Dora definitely doesn't. She would tell me, I know. She tells me almost everything, even top secret stuff about the order that I'm not supposed to know about.

There's a sudden hubbub downstairs. I'll go see what's the matter.

(Later)

My hands are trembling so much I can barely write these words. But I must record the horrible, horrible things I have heard.

It's odd, I always want information. I'm always mad when grownups won't tell me a thing. But now that I'm actually getting some, I start to wish I hadn't. Because once you've heard something, you can't unhear it. You can't forget. You can't make the knowledge of what you are go away.

I didn't even know people were capable of such evil, much less that their blood is in my veins.

Downstairs, people were talking. Dora, Dad, Mum, and someone from the order. I was thrilled when I realized the voice was Professor Lupin, my favorite Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and quite possibly Dora's boyfriend. ( Which would be bad because he also happens to be a werewolf.) Mum must have been telling him about me. I was crouched on the landing, listening to them.

"Poor girl," Lupin said softly. "Is she all right?"

I felt a rush of warmth at the lack of horror in his voice. Lupin didn't care if my mother was a murderer. Of course, he wouldn't.

"Yes," I heard Mum's voice replie. "She's been very brave about it. She told me that I would always be her true mother and this would always be her real family." Her voice shone with pride.

"She is quite something." Said Lupin, and I felt my cheeks grow hot. "You are lucky to have her." Very, very hot with pure pleasure. Praise for Lupin was always true.

Then his voice lowered as if he knew I was listening. (He probably did) I had to strain to hear the words, but I heard them all the same. "Does she know everything, then?"

"I didn't tell her it was the Longbottoms." Mum says. "She's so close to their boy. And I said it was murder. She's not ready to know what really happened. No child should be told that her mother tortured a loving couple into insanity."

I don't know what happened after that.

That's why Neville lives with his grandmother. I never knew, never asked. How will I ever face him on train? It's my fault, my mother's fault at least, that he doesn't have parents. Only he does have parents and they're, I don't even want to think about it. How could she? How could anyone?

Sitting on my desk is a picture of a woman. She's beautiful with heavy hooded and lashed eyes. Her hair is curly and black, just like mine. Her skin is so pale it's almost paper white and her lips are the color of blood, like she's been drinking it or something.

My eyes. My hair. My blood.