Published July 30, 2011
One, there is one word to describe this feeling...
Endless.
For me, it endlessly repeats...
endlessly, my screams repeat.
Your right arm tastes so sweet!
It's maddening, so does your left!
I scream with a smile on my face...
It's happening again. It's so enjoyable...
I'm falling into madness, just as I wished...
And it's so enjoyable!
I'm shaking, .. I can't control myself anymore...
I'll kill you!
Controlled by sweet hallucinations,
I play a tune that blooms from my five fingers,
As I gouge them into your neck.
Will my thoughts not reach you?
Whose reflection is that in your eyes?
Do I even care if my heart returns?
Will carved wounds never heal?
Realize these feelings, why won't you realize them?!
My insanity is overflowing, how can I stop?
If I crush my feelings, what should I strive for?
Those screams coming from your strangled throat...
the melody becomes a vermilion rainbow.
This hue from slaughtering you,
what a sweet red color it releases!
I ascend this stage, as screams come from your shriveling throat,
This stage where I dance alone.
Has that wish collapsed? Have those thoughts been suppressed?
The true me is no more. I'll tear this life to pieces.
Such transient life, so beautiful and precious...
I'll scatter this life like flower petals.
You'll become mine forever, you can't be by my side forever...
So you may become a corpse at my feet.
I want to stay in this beautiful night...
This night, so red and so sweet!
And I want to be rid of you forever...
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139,055 Literary Works • 672,402 Reviews
Whoa this is really good. Let's hope I see some more great things from the contest!
This was very well written and I liked the whole poem very much. I only suggest two things
The first thing I suggest is that the last sentence would sound a lot better if instead of saying "Will carved wounds never heal?" that you instead put "Will carved wounds ever heal?". It just flows better to me
The second thing I suggest is that you change this to single spaced instead of double spaced.
That is all. Very good work though
Ok I'm so glad that this was pure fiction! If it wasn't, the person that you wrote about, better be scared
So I didn't really find much fault with this but I do think that you should probably work on finding a way to make it flow better. I don't know exactly how, because I don't have the poem right here in front of me, but I do think that's something you need to work on. I do think that some better punctuation would help, and if you didn't have such a big space between each line. Also if you write short stories, or even novels, this would be a great topic to write about 
Keep writing!