I Love You.

If I were that girl I would defiantly say yes but I'm not so It absorbs. I love how you put your heart in it, it makes me smile because I wish my ex's would of done something like that. (Note Only dated two people in my life time so far) I haven't experienced much but enough to know how it works a little. And I can say for Fact it takes
"20 seconds of spontaneous courage" - from *We bought a Zoo*
I can see your heart break as well on how you like her so much to the point you wrote this. Now you just have to either write her a love letter (back up plan) But thats only if you can't stand in front of her and proclaim your affection for her.

This was an awesome poem. I loved it. It seems like you have built up the courage to ask, something I could never do.


You also kept the rhyme going, which I personally have a hard time doing.

Personally, I think that this was a good poem. Let her read it. And then, let us know how it goes!!

Hey Darth! I love this poem very much! you write very well. Welcome to YWS!

There are just a few tips and errors I would like to point out that could help
your writing for in the future.

I am personally not a fan of rhyming poems, but this poem is very good. I think
it was a good poem to do rhymes on, good job!!

A few tips. First, in a sentence you only need to capitalize the beginning word
and proper nouns, so when you go onto the next line, 'When' does not need
to be capitalized. Yo can capitalize it, but it is not necessary.

A spelling correction on line nine. You wrote 'ment,' but the correct spelling
is 'meant.' You just missed a letter.

I really like how on the last two lines, you started them both with 'It's time to
see if....' I think that really adds character and flow to the poem, and I also think
it fits nicely. It makes the poem sound more interesting and more unique.

Very nice poem, It can tell what is going on in a lot of relationships.
~Crossing Flower

This was a sweet little poem. It just needs a little more polishing. But it's quite romantic. I don't do poetry so I can't say much here except that I really enjoyed reading it. Especially with the last line, it sort of wraps the entire thing together. Good job and keep practicing. I know you'll get better.

Hi Darth! :]

I loved this poem, it was nice and I see you've written this with all your heart content. I like it, though, I think you're just slightly missing out on some punctuation. I love the way you rhyme every word. But I guess here :-

"I’ve never had a girlfriend before,
But I’ve never met someone whom I adore."

I know "before" and "adore" ends with "ore" but note this down, they do not have the same sound. They may end with same letters but rhyming is about the sound which here, it does not go together. I know this is a little hard, but noting that.


Also :-

"Until now I’ve been too nervous to ask,
But here it is, the question at last."

"Ask" and "Last". None of them are rhyming which kind of troubles me. A poem is either fully rhymed or never. It's never half rhymed. You can give it a search even through your literature textbooks, that is if you have any poems. Check it out and you'll know the different. But I liked these too lines. It brings in that tension and the very next line says, now you're having all the strength take it out. Nice.


"It's time to see if we're ment to be,"

Sometimes, its just so hard to come out of your chat language that by mistake, when you write, you make spelling mistakes. It is "mean't/meant", not "ment".


Overall: I liked it, just some rhyming and spelling mistakes to be taken care of, but other than that, I loved it! ^^ I'm going to rate this a 7/10. You have talent.

Keep Writing! ~

--
Cookie <3'