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I love the description in this piece. Instead of using the common phrases, you made it your own. Love the rhyme in this piece, I love how I can actually see the person. The only error I can see is that you misspelled mesmerizing. Really a good job! Please make people happy and continue writing.
I'm English, the z in mesmerizing is an s in the English spelling.
I like this poem, it's not too fancy and it's not supposed to be. With that being said this poem is not stressed simply because it's a heart felt poem with a ton of emotion in it and believe that's what lies in true poetry. It's good writing all around. The truth is always good and will always prevail in any and every situation which is what makes this poem much more beautiful. I think you should continue writing with heart and feeling and you will continue creating wonder such as this. GOOD JOB!
Hi! I think it's nice writing, but the rhyme scheme I'm assuming you were trying to have doesn't happen in the first stanza. It was a simple peice with simple words, but I feel as if that's what made it beautiful. And it seemed to come straight from your heart.
Whoever she is, she's lucky! Keep writing I really liked it!
I like this piece. It is a really nice description of a beautiful girl. I like how when your using similies to describe her you keep with a theme in the satanza, allowing it to be connected.
There are only a few suggestions, as this is good just as it is.
I don't know if you were trying to accomplish a certain rhyme scheme but you have it everywhere except the first stanza.
I think alot of the words and description are really simple. I think it could be even stronger with bigger words, without taking away from what your trying to get across which is her beauty.
Whoever the girl your writing this for, she is very lucky. This is very well written and an enjoyable read.