Trusting

by DarkVanilla
  • February 28, 2011
  • Poetry
  • Other

-removed-

Comments & reviews · 4
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
Jessa
Review
Jessa wrote a review · Tue Mar 29, 2011 7:43 pm

Hey!
I thought this was very cute! My favorite part was the ending...

Because the love I have for you,
Is powered by the love you have,
For me.


I liked this because it seemed really deep, and it is also very true. When you love someone, your feelings feed off of their feelings.

When reading this poem I didn't find any errors, so nicely done. I also thought the flow was good. Great first post!
-Jessa

User avatar
cupcake
Comment
cupcake commented · Tue Mar 01, 2011 5:32 am

Welcome DarkVanilla,
I only have one thing to say really. I loved it, I was a good poem. Keep writing! :D

User avatar
writerwithacause
Review
writerwithacause wrote a review · Mon Feb 28, 2011 8:32 pm

Nice, can't comment on it so much, but... found a mistake here:

Trust is so worth acheiving.


It should be "achieving".

I thought that this line:

(Hey look that rhymes!)


was pretty good, it makes the reader more involved in the poem.



seeing this tag and going "oh what's this? :)" then getting slapped in the face with shady's good grammar is the worst thing that's ever happened to me
— SilverNight