Right,"Goodbye"

i agree with deanie, this is certainly a very dark piece of text. It's itching with agony and pain. the italics sdeem to be the thoughts in the person's mind. reading this,sort of puts me into the 1st person. so wwell done.

Hey there Darcie,
Well, this was certainly a very dark poem. I gathered that the italics were the bad part of the speakers mind that got the speaker to do things. I liked how the speaker seemingly had two voices. It gave the whole poem a more haunting feel to it. I really liked the open with the broken phrases. I think it was a good way to start the poem. You continued using broken phrases which weren't overdone and benefited to the atmosphere of the poem.

I think the description was great, and I understood the speakers reluntance but the at the same time want of the pain. I like the words you chose. But I didn't really like thefinal stanza. I liked the beginning, up to the "congratulations"part. I think clenching was the wrong word to match with stiff... maybe frozen or strained. And after lef there should be a full stop instead of a comma.

I think the ending made me wanting something more and I was little disappointed after such a good opening and middle. But it was a good poem overall. I liked what I read. Keep on writing!

Deanie x

This poem is really strong.
When I was reading it I had a little bit of a hard time discerning whether the italics were actually happening or thoughts, but it seems to switch through the poem. In the first stanza you set it up so that non-italics are adjectives and verbs. This makes me expect that they will remain consistently things that we can see, feel, or do. That is not the case though. In the second stanza you have "I'm nothing" outside of the italics, and further down you have "No more" and "goodbye" also outside of the italics. This makes me wonder if these things are actually said, or if they're just anomalies in the poem. If they are anomalies, I would suggest changing them. Consistency can really help tie a poem together and being consistent with what is actually visible and what is mental would help this poem. If they are supposed to be verbal things that are said, I think they're fine, but you might want to set them off with "quotations" in order to make that clearer to the reader.
Overall, I liked the poem.

I love your stream of conscious take on death, the franticness (if that's a word) complements it well