The Underchair Letters (Chapter Two)
Dear Rachel,
Today was different than most days. Neither Myrdie nor Earl was on their porch at the same time. I was, though. I sit on my porch every Saturday. Because of those two funny old folks.
However, it does seems a like everyone on this block sits on their porch a lot. There's so much life. And you can bet that if I hadn't left my good painting stuff in my dorm I'd be doing something about it.
The way my house is placed in between my two neighbors' creates this strange sort of echo chamber. I can hear almost everything the old pair say, even when they aren't yelling at one another.
A young man pulled up in front of Myrdie's house today in a cute little car that had "Gershwin's Shelter" painted on the side of it. Myrdie looked absolutely ecstatic and ran (actually she didn't run, she just sort of hobbled carefully down the steps into her yard) and caught the young man in a giant bear hug. They talked for a while, something about "new arrivals" and "those poor babies" and something about how Myrdie was "their last hope."
He took from the back seat of the car two whining things in gray kennels. I could barely see inside but I did end up catching a glimpse.
They were cats, predictably. Except one of them had a white bandage tied over its face, obscuring its eyes, and the other appeared to be missing both of its front legs. The young man helped Myrdie carry them into her house, and she hasn't come out since.
That happened an hour or two ago. Right now, Earl is out and there are two of his granddaughters are sitting on the porch swing opposite his rocking chair and he's telling them a story.
He's saying he went to Germany during the war. He was on the front lines, got to go right into the camps and it all.
Of course he isn't telling most of the details to his grand kids. About the camps, I mean. His hands are going all over, it's like he can still see everything. He just gestured to where he saw the smokestacks and the fences. "My best friend Dave," I can hear him saying, "we were almost brothers, him and me..."
I don't think his grandchildren are listening. They're giggling about something and not paying much attention. Maybe he's just saying it to get it off his chest. Maybe he does this every time someone comes over.
Now he's stopped talking for a little bit. He's sitting real still. Dave died. Oh, lord. He said he got killed jumping on a grenade to save the rest of their squad. "Blown to bits," he says, leaning back, "never got to say goodbye. Kept his tags, though. They're up on my shelf."
The kids aren't paying attention. He says his first wife, April, didn't wait for him. "Ran off with a spunky young banker."
From the way he spat "banker" you'd have thought he meant to say "playboy" or "sports major."
The two little girls have run off and are playing in the yard. Earl is off and muttering about being young and innocent. That Gershwin car just pulled up and Myrdie got out and went into her house. Earl just yelled to the driver "hello, Scott!"
The two didn't argue today. But I am wondering who that guy is and what's happening with the injured cats and the rest of what happened to Earl. Plus, that Scott fellow isn't bad in the way of attractiveness.
Always your best friend,
Morgan
Hey! I'd already reviewed the first chapter and here I am to review the second one!
Thats the first time any story has made me think over and feel sad 
GOOD JOB!
Okay, so first of all this just keeps getting better and better! I'm really enjoying hearing about the two elderly people! Its quite fun to listen to and honestly, I feel a bit bad for Earl as no one is listening to his story. Old people love a good listener. But it is expected from the kids to not pay attention. Okay, so you've made me contemplate over fiction
Okay, so I would love to point out some errors but it seems like its already been pointed out. I dont want to be a horrible person by reiterating the same.
But there are some points that I feel obliged to point out, nevertheless.
The text seems to lack fluidity. I think it needs a bit revision and editing.
Also, since this is a letter to a friend, I think there needs to be more details about what she's doing rather than the neighbors.
There seems to be a bit of a problem with the tense and the way its written. I think it should have been more like:
Thats really it
Like I said, I really like this a lot! Its really very entertaining!
Keep up the good work!
Hi! I like where you're going with these letters. They're interesting and have a bit of comedy to them! However, I do have a few comments.
-In a couple places, the flow sounds a bit awkward, for example when you're transitioning from topic to topic.
-Is the writer's house situated between Earl and Myrdie's house? I read your first letter as well, and I believe you said they were across the street, but if this is the case, the narrator shouldn't be able to hear Earl's mutterings.
-If this is a letter to her best friend, you'd think there would be a bit more about her personal life, instead of just the lives of the two older people.
-If the narrator has moved into this new house, why is her painting stuff in a dorm? Wouldn't she have brought it with her? You might want to clarify this.
-"But I am wondering who that guy is and what's happening with the injured cats and the rest of what happened to Earl." : This is a run on sentence, you might want to restructure it a bit.
-The last sentence, about Scott, is kind of random. Like I mentioned earlier, you might want to include a bit more of the narrator's personal life. You could elaborate on this, maybe include something about Morgan trying to find a guy to date etc.
Overall, really great idea! I loved the story about Earl and his involvement in the war. Keep writing, and I'll be sure to keep a lookout for more posts!
Ah, okay, so I'll just drop in for a real, real quick review.
Problem with this: It's not at all like how a personal letter is written.
Sit down and think of what you would say if you were writing a letter to your best friend on a subject like this . . . think of what words you would use . . . think of everything!
Overall your writing is really pretty good, your dialogue, description, and everything is really quite nice, and other than that problem with this letter not at all being like a letter . . . it's really good.
Here: Would word a letter like this when writing to your BEST friend?
Besides that you're over using periods and under-using comma's, (And the 'Plus' should be 'P.s.') I don't think your wording is quite right.
But anyway, as I said, short review! Keep up your writing! (Work on the way you write the letters and cut down on the periods (And use more commas))
Nice work overall! (Remember: A writer advances through practice! You won't get anywhere without it!)
~Black~