Published May 19, 2011
Cast the joy! Cast the pain!
Twas a joyous night never plain,
Both beauty and beast have never been perfect,
Though a party this good was so very hectic.
The Red Man dances along with his subjects.
The subjects remain as eternal rejects
Relinquish thy self from fear of good tidings,
Treasure you lost, now in good hidings.
Realize that your purity will plummet,
For you now remain the Red Man's puppet.
Veins cold while walls hot.
Flames through winter, your soul caught.
The Red Man welcomes all with open arms.
For he cannot wait for party alarms.
Ah! My child do not believe his trickery!
For he may might have poisoned your curry.
He dances along with an odd crown,
Two spikes rest. Eyes that may make you drown.
He never trips with that tail that sweeps the floor.
He'll rot your body straight to the core.
Cast the joy! Cast the pain!
Twas a joyous night never plain.
But remember my child that though this quite tempting
The party above is for those with His Blessing.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,529 Literary Works • 672,599 Reviews
Hello there,
I liked this but it was very long and not very well layed out. I would rearrange this if I were you and perhaps break the body of the text into stanzas to make it more neat and better layed out. Very good use of language in this though, it really captured the emotional side of every story. The grammar is good as well, it helped add to the story really well. Keep on writing poetry, this is exceptional. This was very moving and powerful and I fully enjoyed reading it.
From CuteJackRussell
I really really really enjoyed reading this. A whole lot of the poems (mine included) are often quite depressing, so this was a fun and refreshing read. I think there were some hidden, deeper meanings throughout the poem, which just made this more exciting. This poem put plenty of imagery into my head and made me very curious about the mysterious red man. I was very intrigued and just enjoyed this so much. Please keep writing, and message me when you post more stuff? I would appreciate that so much.
Loved it ^_^