You Liar

by Daisuki

Published August 9, 2012

In Other

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“You lied to me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“That was another lie.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Don’t say anything, it’ll just be a lie.”

“...”

“Why didn’t you tell me? You said that you were okay.”

“I didn’t want you to know.”

“Ah, the first truth I’ve heard from you in ages. Why shouldn’t I know?”

“It would have hurt you.”

“Hurt me? Hurt me–”

“This is probably why I didn’t tell you.”

“Oh.”

“Calm down. Are you angry?”

“Hell yes.”

“Can we talk?”

“...sure.”

“I missed you.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re still lying. Stop it.”

“Okay.”

“Are you crying?”

“No.”

“Liar.”

“Don’t touch me.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Probably.”

“It’s okay. Please don’t cry, you liar.”

Comments & reviews · 6
TemptingDreams wrote a review Review · Oct 14, 2012

Gripping Story so far. You leave me yet to wonder what they were arguing about, and what this 'liar' did...Did she/he cheat on the other? It sounds like they are lovers, so that might be a likely story in this case. Just some advice; dont write all your story like this, even though it might be easier, it will lose your audiences interest.

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TheatreGirl00
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TheatreGirl00 wrote a review Review · Aug 30, 2012

First off, interesting writing style. I'm not sure if I like it or not, but it's obviously gripping. Second, I gotta admit: It got me from the beginning. I liked it A LOT. Can't wait to read more!
Third, I won't recommend that the WHOLE story is written this way, it might get a little old. But it's your story, so I'll let you write it! :)

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klara1882
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klara1882 wrote a review Review · Aug 27, 2012

Hi, I truly enjoy this way of writing - nothing but a dialogue. It kind of encourages readers to imagine the whole picture only by their imagination (which is always like that, but now even more). Also, it leaves reader to really feel all the emotions - he can add in his head something you haven't actually written and by that it feels even more realistic and genuine.
It's great, well written. :)

scarlettnikole wrote a review Review · Aug 21, 2012

This is really great. This style of writing really leaves the story up to the reader. We don't know what's going on, or what these two are arguing about. This lets us take control. I really like it.

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LittleFox
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LittleFox wrote a review Review · Aug 10, 2012

I like this way of writing a lot. Creating and painting a story with nothing but dialogue- thats something you have to have talent for :) I would have liked just a little bit more from them though. not a lot but just a little to more understand the feelings going on.

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Raelyn723
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Raelyn723 wrote a review Review · Aug 10, 2012

Hmmm... I kinda like this. It's certainly a very different way of writing...and I don't know if it was intended to be a poem or what but it is very creative. I like the way that you led me to picture what was happening by simply using dialogue. That deserves applause :)
I would also like to point out though, that if you added more than just the dialogue and made it more like a chapter book sort of thing, you would help the reader a lot.
What do these people look like? What did the person do to deserve being called a liar? Are they a couple? What didn't the one person tell the other? Are they a girl and a boy, boy and a boy, girl and a girl? These questions all come to mind when I'm reading this.
I would definitely love to read more of this if you added in some details and descriptions and other things besides the dialogue. But I do like it the way that it is as well because its original and risky, which I admire. So... just take into consideration what you might want to do with this in the future and I would love to read more!! :)
-Raelyn

Sorry I kinda stink at reviews :/



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