The Friendzone

"He had a strong crush on her. She was his only fantasy. She was the most desirable girl in class. She was dumb, but that never mattered.The only thing that bothered him was that he couldn't gain her attention. She made him go weak on his knees. He was scared of speaking to her; he was afraid of the outcome, if there would ever be one. He was told girls can instinctively guess when a guy wants to sleep with them.

Taking a cue from his rational mind, he decided to focus on his studies. He had to work hard to make his dreams come true. Love was for the less ambitious underachievers. He shouldn't be swayed by her luscious lips and flowing locks. The doe-eyed apsara would never be his. She only belonged to him in his "dreams". He would still steal glances. He wrote a dozen poems in his journal to get her off his mind, but they made the feeling even more stronger. His love was insatiable. The day finally came, she asked if she could borrow his Math notebook. Mathematics, a subject he was great at. He was the teacher's favorite, the smartest guy in class. Eventually, she became an acquaintance. He would get to see her more often now. He noticed her mannerisms, made sense out of her pointless chatter, and observed her. A couple of weeks later, he realized he was friends with her and assumed he might have a chance. He helped her with every subject. She was "the" damsel in distress and he was "her" knight in shining armor. She used him for studies and he helped her, just so he could make her fall in love with him. He proposed her and she dismissed it as a joke. He was told that she "liked him as a friend". He was still hopeful.

It didn't happen.

They became really good friends. Although the bond was entirely platonic from her side, he couldn't care less. He still believed in luck. Those stupid romantic comedies and fairy tales had made him delusional. They joined different colleges. The friendship was there, but it slowly faded. They tried to keep in touch, but they couldn't. Four semesters had passed when he came to a sudden realization. He felt the urge to confess. She should know how he feels. He called her up and told her everything. He told her he still liked her and was friends with her because he thought there could be a possible relationship. She was taken by surprise. She already had a boyfriend. It would be selfish of her to break the friendship. She was disappointed.

They're still friends today. They understand each other. They know that they used each other, and both are equally guilty. What started off as a lie had now become the truth of their lives."

It is quite obvious that the boy was friendzoned, isn't it? Was it solely the girl's fault? How could he gather the courage to tell her the entire truth? There are many questions, but the most important one among them is:

Can this ever happen in real life?

No. A big no.

We are too stuck up in real life. We don't want to risk it. The art of blaming is something we've learned really well. We are afraid to admit our feelings and willing to blame anyone who doesn't reciprocate. We don't want to walk away when someone denies us love. We stay there. We blow our own bubbles and cry like babies when they burst. We believe we are entitled to love. We are under the presumption that the person has to return our love. He or she has to shower affection onto us. We don't want to leave ourselves vulnerable but expect the other person to do so. Life doesn't work like that.

We are all selfish creatures. Everyone needs a relationship, but no one wants to understand the needs of the other person. Do we ever consider working on ourselvesrather than magically hoping a long-lasting relationship to develop out of friendship?

People get friendzoned when they love someone more than they love themselves, when they start believing in stupid statements like "Love is friendship set on fire", and when they are not mature enough to understand human psychology. Sorry to break it down to you, but reality doesn't work like that. I know you wish it would, even I wish it would. Sadly, it doesn't.

The reality is more interesting and intriguing. It is brimming with opportunities. You just have to look in the right places. Even if you don't find love, you will get invaluable experience. Romantic proficiency is something which is hard to come by, especially when one lives in a developing country, where all of us are struggling all of the time. We don't have time to date or hook up. We are overambitious people who want to lead a luxurious life.

We should take chances more often and respect the other person when we do it. It is not easy to accept or deny a proposal. It is not that easy to diffuse the awkward situation one is put in when he or she is proposed by someone he or she is not interested in. Don't pressurize the other person to accept. Make yourself worthy of acceptance. Be honest about your feelings and it might help.

All you attractive people out there; I know you get a lot of attention and you are probably bored of it. Please be politely blunt and state the fact that you are not interested. Don't friendzone, don't leave anyone hanging. Empathize with your admirers, it helps.

There is no point in concluding this post. People will do what they always do. I can advise and preach, but even I might end up doing what I fervently and rationally oppose. Feelings are irrational after all.

May you find the one you love and not be friendzoned by them.

P.S.: The story is about a guy being friendzoned by a girl. I am not reinforcing the populist idea of girls being the ones who don't respect a person's feelings. Friendzoning is gender-independent, it should be. I know the definition on Wikipedia says otherwise. Let us all strive to make friendzoning gender-independent... :P