Promise

Thanks for all the comments and reviews!

This is a strong poem. Well-written and has a really good ending. I like the open-endedness of it. Leaves it feeling mysterious which emphasizes the "fantasy" theme you have going here (if that was you intention).

Nice work of art! My friend said that it reminders her of MineCraft. I love this peice. As far as I can see there are no erros! Keep working on more peotry you are a very excelent author.

Megz219

This piece of work absolutely exacts for more write-ups from you. Yes, absolutely I can not find any odds in here as because you have filled the readers thirst in almost all the ways. The poem is Rhythmic, Stands brave in texture, Feeds some kind of persistence, Also a wide range of modish words.My favourite lines are thus....

"Past cracks in stone, through creaky door
I'll battle bone, to reach the shore"

This just throws out the wild pursuit for future with strong determination.And what more than bowing for your gracious work. Good luck and I have become one of your subscribers who does it for your writing.

"You'll be avenged, I know this much / What if I'm slain, I don't fear such"

The best lines of this piece right here. Strong determination; doing everything possible (and impossible) to achieve the goal. I liked it.

Overall, I thought the rhyme was a bit forced at times. As a fan of Skyrim and Oblivion, I'd say I felt the message, hahaha.

Good effort!

Hello there Cyb3rBlade, I'm Lilcanich, and I will be review your poem today. I go stanza by stanza, and give my full opinion at the end. Anyways, on with the review:

"Though dungeon deep, though cavern dark
Though dragons sleep, in ev'ry part"

This opening verse reminds me of the Misty Mountain song from Tolkien's The Hobbit, and it is very good. I especially like the rhyming structure that keeps with the flow of the verse. This opening line's imagery allows the reader to envision a cave with perils around every corner Very solid opening.

"I'll draw my sword, and string my bow
To keep my word, I will follow"

Once again, you keep with the double internal rhyme scheme, and I really like it. The adventurer at this point is preparing himself for the dangers that lay ahead. A strong second verse.

"Past cracks in stone, through creaky door
I'll battle bone, to reach the shore"

The third verse once again shows your imagery. The cracks in [the] stone and the creak [of the] door all make the scene come to life. This is the point where I realized your clever meter. Thus far, no words of critique.

"I'll build my raft, if none be found
To chase the waft, the scent, with hound"

The fourth verse, in order to adhere to your double internal rhyme and quartets of syllables, sounds a bit forced. It really sticks out in the second half of the second line: the scent, with hound. This may have been your intent, but although we know that hounds can track very well, the phrase really lends itself room for improvement.

"And at that place, I'll meet my fate
Dodge blacken'd mace, and pierce the plate"

The fifth verse makes up where the fourth verse stumbled. When the adventurer reaches the shore, he will live in the moment. He will fight to his death, as this is his goal. This verse is both powerful and moving, as it really allows the reader to connect with the character. Overall, a nice recovery.

"You'll be avenged, I know this much
What if I'm slain, I don't fear such"

The sixth verse is once again a nice continuation of the pattern, although some may become tired of the sing song melody, I feel that this would be more of a ballad without a refrain, sung around the campfire of adventurers. I also like how you let go of the double rhyme for this line, as it made it much more powerful. My only real complain is the second part of the second line I don't fear such could be replaced with I fear not such, both keeping with the meter and rhyme structure you've imposed and sounding a bit less awkward. Though this is purely my opinion.

"You're gone now, the light is gray
And all because, that final day..."

This final verse has a slight break from meter, as well as the continuation of your previous verse's decision of dropping the double rhyme. This was the right decison, as a break from pattern tends to signify an important line in poetry. This final verse leaves itself open for continuation or pure speculation. This final verse was a very clean conclusion for the poem.

Overall, I feel that this poem is a great story, and I only see a few minor edits to be made. Keep in mind, I am NOT you so anything I say is suggestion, not mandate. Tke my comments to heart, and please keep writing, I hope to read more of your works in the future. Any questions/comments/concerns/flames? PM me or reply to this. Otherwise, take care.

~Lilcanich