Published May 9, 2012
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140,571 Literary Works • 673,517 Reviews
First things first, this is the first science fiction poem I've ever read and I loved it! The words bounce to their own rhythm in a way that lets the reader have a little fun with the poem. Since this is the first science fiction poem I've read, I don't have a lot to critique about it. I can however say that with the right amount of effort and want, this could definitely became a rap in the middle a super amazing song. Please keep writing and I will definitely keep reviewing (hopefully better next time, sorry for that).
First thing I want to say, is that this poem is really catchy.
It sounds like a children's rhyme, really except for that last part.
If you say it to a 4-beat rhythm,you probably won't want to stop anymore.
Okay, good things!
1. You've gotten a good structure. 4 line stanzas are good. In this,...excellent!!
2. Rhymes! It rhymes so good it's impossible! Makes it sound even more like a children's rhyme!
3. The exclamation marks are a bit annoying but that's what makes it fun!
4. It's science fiction! Who doesn't love that genre?
Okay, by what I understand, a scientist made a robot that turned on mankind or something of the sort. Very cliched plot but makes sense in this poem, fortunately.
I like this poem, very funny, and keep up the good work!