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Cooper's Trial

by Cyb3rBlade

Doctor Cooper, stoke the fire!
An engineer? You’re a liar!
Doctor Cooper, turn the dial!
A man of science? Pass this trial!

Find the crystals, find the plans
Build my machine-if you can!
Secret alloys, can you make?
Now it is your life at stake!

Vast machine of steam and steel
Bolt the final main drive wheel
Now so long as gears don’t bind
You’ve made a cunning metal mind!

Not what you thought it would do?
Just try to fight it-it’s no use!
Creator hunted by creation
Man is nearing his extinction!

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Points: 702
Reviews: 8

Sat Dec 29, 2012 7:57 pm
MaKriege wrote a review...

First things first, this is the first science fiction poem I've ever read and I loved it! The words bounce to their own rhythm in a way that lets the reader have a little fun with the poem. Since this is the first science fiction poem I've read, I don't have a lot to critique about it. I can however say that with the right amount of effort and want, this could definitely became a rap in the middle a super amazing song. Please keep writing and I will definitely keep reviewing (hopefully better next time, sorry for that).

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94 Reviews

Points: 6016
Reviews: 94

Mon Jun 25, 2012 3:48 am
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Nook wrote a review...

First thing I want to say, is that this poem is really catchy.
It sounds like a children's rhyme, really except for that last part.

If you say it to a 4-beat rhythm,you probably won't want to stop anymore.

Okay, good things!

1. You've gotten a good structure. 4 line stanzas are good. In this,...excellent!!

2. Rhymes! It rhymes so good it's impossible! Makes it sound even more like a children's rhyme!

3. The exclamation marks are a bit annoying but that's what makes it fun!

4. It's science fiction! Who doesn't love that genre?

Okay, by what I understand, a scientist made a robot that turned on mankind or something of the sort. Very cliched plot but makes sense in this poem, fortunately.

I like this poem, very funny, and keep up the good work!

I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.
— Pablo Neruda