Drop Drop Gorgeous

by Cyahazard

Published October 2, 2013

16+ Language

In Drop Dead Gorgeous

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

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DROP DEAD GORGEOUS

PROLOUGE

Everything was so dark... Where am I?

How’d I get here?

Why was I so cold? My fingertips felt numb.

All I remembered was that I was once the prize possession of the Nectont family. Mum and dad loved me. And I loved them.

So why—

I looked up at that one ray of moonlight streaming in from the top window. I brought my hands up and gaped at the red outlining my fingernails. The red was also dripping down my arm. It smelt horrible- like metal. I know the smell.

It was blood. I smelt blood. I tasted it as well. In my mouth. It was everywhere.

I looked down. My parents laid motionless, blood over their clothes. I tried to call to them, but my voice just wouldn’t respond. The whole room was silent, yet I could hear a strange piercing sound in my ear. I called to my parents. But yet again, no voice came. I felt the warm tears prickling the side of my eyes. They slid down my face and dripped down my chin.

I felt the cold breath of the devil on my neck. Its ice blue eyes staring at me, hungry, and satisfied. I wanted to scream- but all I could do was let out one small yelp before I fall onto the ground, unconscious.

The devil has awakened. And now, he refuses to leave.

CHAPTER ONE

I’m so excited for the new semester. I can barely stay in my seat as Kenny Ondouver, my so called best friend, drives us to Stefthen Academy- The highest scoring school in the district. Since I can’t pay for my fees, I got in through unconventional ways. I have an inside sort. And I’m the absolute expert in blackmailing.

“Shit, this semester’s gonna be awesome!”

Kenny smirks as he picks up the speed. “Well, isn’t someone excited?”

“Of course I am.” I stick my tongue out at a passing couple who just so happened to be my ex neighbors. I moved after that night on the fourth day of first semester last year, when my parents were ‘mysteriously murdered’. Of course, no one knew the truth. No one except me. “Scottish girls are hot. But damn, I miss my Whitefish girls.”

Kenny rolls his eyes, all the while shaking his head. He’s too much of a cheesy romantic to get caught up in my drama. He and his girlfriend for four years, Amber Shunokit, were childhood best friends. His mum and her mum were as close as close can be. They were practically sisters. So Amber and Kenny hooked up, finally, and their mothers couldn’t have been happier. They were a ‘match made in heaven’, as Mrs. Shunokit liked to say it. Kenny wasn’t that good-looking though. He’s pretty chubby, heavier than most kids my age. He has curly brown hair – like an old-fashioned poet’s – with hazel-colored eyes and round ears. He loves to wear his varsity jacket even when it’s 40 degrees outside. Here in Whitefish, Montana, it can get pretty hot.

I crank the music louder, pointing the middle finger at an oblivious old man. “I love this song!”

“You’re crazy.”

“It’s called excitement, genius.” I exclaim, grinning widely. “For a genius, you’re pretty slow.”

“Hey!”

Kenny is a genius though. Someone who’s only gotten A’s and B’s his whole life. And he’s in the football team. His scores and his position in the team have made him an acceptable match as Amber’s boyfriend. Anything less and Steven’s Goth gang would’ve pounded him straight to hell.

We approach the school driveway, where a sea of kids are loitering around, chatting, gossiping, catching up after summer break. Excitement pumps me up so vividly I nearly jump out of my seat. As soon as we enter the quad, my heart starts beating rapidly. Because right there in the middle of the quad, surrounded by a sea of guys, is the Whitefish Girls. The smartest, hottest and most irresistible girls in Whitefish. The sight of them made me tingle with anxiety.

The second Kenny parks the car, I hop out and make my way to them, my backpack slung over my shoulder. A smirk brightens my face and my light blue eyes tingle with excitement. Ken calls after me, but he notices my intentions, and leaves me be. As soon as I enter their circle, the guys seem to make way for me, letting me cross intentionally. In the middle of their circle, is, of course, the best of them all- Katherine Phase. The Queen Bee. The Hottest of the hottest. The ‘it’ girl.

With her long brunette locks, piercing light brown eyes, high cheekbones, fare skin, model-like body and slim legs, she was the picture perfect of a Goddess. I’ve wanted to sleep with her since I first saw her. She doesn’t show the same attraction. But I know somewhere deep inside her, she feels the same.

“Good morning, girls.”

Most of the girls are quite happy to see me, and reply with the same excitement. However Katherine was unlike them. Her smile drops and she leers at me.

“Oh look. It’s the dyke.”

I cock my head at her, eyes soft yet seductive. “Aw not look what you’ve done. You’ve hurt my feelings.” I edge closer to her, and when she makes no move to pull back, edge even closer. I can see, from the corner of my eye, the jealous spark in some of the girls’ eyes.

“But don’t worry, I’ll never get mad at you.”

“Who’s worried? I just feel sorry for the girls who were naive enough to sleep with you.” Her voice is low and venomous. It’s soft enough for only me to hear. Her eyes seem to drill holes into mine, yet I want her so bad.

“Come on, Katherine. Say it, right now, to my face, that there’s nothing going on here.”

“There’s nothing going on here.”

I pull back just slightly. “Ouch,” I mumble sarcastically, even though inside I feel a stingy pain.

I see slight guilt in her eyes, but it vanishes as quickly as it had arisen. She rolls her eyes and turns away, sauntering off with her group of Whitefish girls. Tess and Ana, who I had so ‘magically’ slept with, turn to me with last waves and flirtatious grins. I grin back and wave, even though my excitement has dropped just slightly. That bunch of guys who were surrounding the Whitefish girls earlier dissipated quickly, leaving me to search for Ken.

I know my borders with Katherine. She doesn’t have a boyfriend. No one’s ‘good enough’ for her. She’s just that cruel and merciless. Even though she’s as hot as a summer day in Florida, her personality is as cold as winter in the North Pole. Go figure. She just never gives anyone a chance. Yet I know, deep inside me, that she has a soft side. I also know that something’s gonna happen. Deep within me, where the devil lay tainted in my heart, I feel the whispers of satisfaction. I can hear the devil telling me, ‘She’ll let you in.’

I pass the Orion boys with a casual stride. Steven, the obvious leader of the gang, shoots me a glare before turning back to his posy. An amused smirk appears on my face as I pass him. He’s such a jerk. The Orion boys are a bunch of male Goth’s who dedicate their life into Astronomy. Orion, being the coolest sounding constellation there is, was picked as the name by the oh-so popular Goth leader Steven, who has jet-black straight hair and coal-dark eyes. He and his younger brother, Stephen, have a thing for Katherine. I mean, of course, who doesn’t? Practically half the population of guys in Stefthen Academy are trying to chase after her.

I then walk pass the Brain Trooper’s circle. Personally, I like to mock them and call those nerdified bunch of geeks ‘Geek Mania’. But one of them is this really rich kid named Leon Urick, and apparently he’s the son of some guy who’s in the Board Committee. Darren Millers, who was the halfback last year, teased the Brain Troopers so much that Leon brought it up with his dad. And the next day, Darren was expelled. Since then, no one dared to mock Geek Mania... publically. In private, of course, they can do whatever the hell they want.

Finally, I approach the Blow-Away gang – the second most popular and high-rated group in Whitefish, alongside the Whitefish girls. Leading the Blow-Away gang is, unsurprisingly, the super friendly and super adorable Amber Shunokit. What with her long auburn hair, charming grey eyes and adorable smile, she’s the top candidate for the next Whitefish girls. The only reason she isn’t with them is because she’s way too nice. She calls them the ‘Bitches from hell’. I’ve always liked her. I like her more than Ken realizes.

Next to Amber, sits Aaron Mackoy, the school’s top athlete. He isn’t super buff or super fit, but he’s in practically every sport. Plus he’s considered ‘uber cute’. I, personally, never liked him. He’s playing with Amber’s hair, tucking in loose strands behind her ear as the rest of the group noisily enjoy themselves. Aaron looks suspiciously close to Amber, and I spot from a distance as Ken hesitantly tries to approach them a few paces away from me. Sighing, I walk to him.

“I don’t get it, man.” I mumble. He jumps when he hears me. “You’re her boyfriend. Not her boytoy like that Aaron Mackoy guy. Go talk to her, idiot, or that blonde loser will snatch her away!”

Ken shoots me a nervous glance. Worry shrouds his hazel eyes. “We had a fight yesterday.”

I laugh shortly. “That’s yesterday. Besides, you guys have been going out for three years now. What could be so bad that would mess up your relationship?”

Before Ken can respond, Aaron seemingly plants a small kiss on Amber’s cheek. Instantly, I shut myself up. “Okay, nevermind.”

I turn to see Kenny’s face looking as tight as ever. Of course he’s angry. But I’ve never seen him so overwhelmed before. I place a hand on his back and try to calm him down. But my actions go to vain, because the second Amber lays eyes on us, she pulls away from Aaron so fast it’s as if he was never there in the first place.

She races to us, a wide grin on her face. Kenny relaxes a little bit at the sight of her still willing to acknowledge him. She jumps up and gives Ken a hug so big it could put Romeo and Juliet to shame. I catch Aaron, from the corner of my eye, shyly trying to crawl away, embarrassed beyond compare. I stifle a laugh. What a loser.

Amber pulls away from her boyfriend and gives him a kiss on the cheek. “I’m so sorry about yesterday, Ken. You were right. Can we just forget about it?”

“It’s forgotten, Amber.” He kisses her on the forehead and gives her a kind smile.

I try to edge away from this awkward scene between them, but Amber stops me. She places a hand on my shoulder and gives me a hug as well, which causes a blush to heat up my face. Like I said, I like Amber more than Ken realizes. If he isn’t my best friend, I would’ve already tapped that. Fortunately for him but unfortunately for me, I had to restrain myself for the past year whenever I’m in front of her. Ah, she even smells sweet – Like cheery blossoms in Japan. I’ve been to Japan once when I was 13 with my parents. Good times that I’ll never get back.

“Hey Jules!” Amber pulls away and shoots me an award-winning heart-crushing smile.

I force a smile back. I’m best at that. Faking. Faking a smile. Faking a crush. Faking a death. “Hey gorgeous, how’s Ken treating you?”

Ken suddenly looks at me with a threatening look, which makes me gulp down nervousness. Amber, however, looks scared suddenly. She doesn’t let Ken see her fearful expression, but as soon as the expression came, it disappears. “Fine! He’s the best.” She turns back to Ken and wink at him, and suddenly the two are sharing a deep liplock.

A shock of jealousy creep up my throat. The least Ken can do is let me sleep with her! I’ll totally leave them alone after that. She’s just... so pretty! Plus, it’ll satisfy ‘it’ cause right now, ‘it’s’ hungry. I cough awkwardly.

“I think I’ll be going. Gotta get to my dorm.”

Ken pulls away, gives me a grin and nods. For some reason, in my heart, I feel anger, and I feel like punching him. I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s ‘it’. But Amber gives me a different expression. One that calls for help. But just like before, the expression disappears and is replaced by joy. “See ya, Jules!”

I fake a smirk and walk off, but as soon as my back is turned to them, my smile drops. First, Katherine, now, Amber. I don’t care what Ken says, I am, someday, going to sleep with Amber. Just to satisfy ‘it’s’ needs before it turns me into a monster again.

I make my way to the junior’s dorms. I’m anxious to find out who my roommate is. Last year I got a really bad pick. Sophie Annt – one of the geeks in Geek Mania. She goes to bed at seven every night, which makes it hard for me considering I sleep late every night, and always brings her boyfriend, Leon Urick, to my room. It was torture to hear them discuss the boundaries of love and the circulation of the blood that flows in their heat and all that. I barely went into my dorm last year besides to sleep or shower. But of course, there are advantages to having a geek as your roommate. Like, for example, blackmailing them and getting A’s on all your homework assignments. I never said I was a saint.

I enter room 2-16, my dorm for this year. The room, like always on the first day of every year, is spotlessly clean and clear. There are two beds in the room – one beside the door facing a wide window – and one beside the bathroom next to the wall. I pick the one facing the window. Whoever my roommate is will have to deal with having to sleep next to a wall. Too bad.

I take off my shirt and look at myself in the dresser mirror. I take boxing classes, so naturally I’m fit. I have a masculine body, with muscular arms and abs on my tummy. I take pride in my absolutely chiseled physique, especially since it’s what gets me the girls. I then throw my shirt onto my bed, so now I’m only in my sports bra and shorts. I approach the wide window, which has an extraordinary view of the quad and the field. Beyond the school compound, I see the tall mountains. I’ve always wanted to climb a mountain. Never got the chance.

Suddenly, the room door swings open, revealing my new roommate for the next 12 months. I whirl around, still by the seat next to the window. Right there, standing by the doorway, mouth agape, is Katherine Phase.

She stares at me for a while, me staring back. For a few seconds, it’s mere silence between us. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, she snaps out of her trance-like state, tears her eyes away from me, and shakes her head roughly.

“Shit! Out of fifty girls, I get stuck with you?!”

A smile brightens my face. I intended it to be a smirk, but I just couldn’t allow myself to be spiteful at this very moment. Cause I feel immense joy at having Katherine be my roommate. This will make the goal of sleeping with her so much easier.

“Must be my lucky year.”

“And my unlucky one.” She grumbles, hastily placing her luggage flat on the ground next to the bathroom. “Could you put on a damn shirt, you pervert?!”

A chuckle escapes my lips. Rolling my eyes, I make my way to my bed and dig through my backpack. Finally I pull out a loose white shirt and put it on, smiling as I breathe in the smell of lavender soap. I turn back to Katherine, who’s trying to pick out an outfit from her outrageously large luggage. Obviously, she’s going to bathe. So I suppose I should give her some privacy.

Hah. Yeah right.

I sit on my bed and stare at her sharp features. She has curves at all the right places, her chest isn’t too big, but it’s nowhere near ‘small’ either, and her rear? Oh, it’s absolutely yumilishious. Like I said, I’m no saint.

“You’re beautiful.”

I can see the twitch in her hand as I say that. But instead of responding with a snarky comment, she completely ignores me. I smile at this. I remember last year, when I first tried talking to her. She completely ignored me too. When I tried to talk to her again, she snapped at me- literally. She started shouting, in front of the entire student body, at me about how she isn’t ‘like me’ or how she hates people ‘like me’. Instead of breaking down crying like people suspected, I told her that whatever happened to her before with ‘people like me’ is in the past.

I said, “I don’t know what happened, and I’m not gonna ask. Honestly, I’m not even seeking your approval for me being me. Just know that I won’t ever do anything that displeases you. Who could ever hurt such a gorgeous creature?”

As cliche and cheesy that was, my confidence and charming bravado made most of the student body love me- which brought me my reputation as a player. Ever since then, Katherine was less harsh to me than any other guy who tried to hit on her. She never actually pulled away, but she never accepted me either. I like to tell myself that she likes me, but she’s just afraid.

Katherine gets up quickly and enters the bathroom without giving me a second glance, shutting the door gently (something I didn’t expect, I thought she would slam the door). My smile slowly falters. ‘It’s’ getting really inpatient. Unless I find someone today, something wrong might happen tomorrow. The thought scares me. I jump as suddenly the song ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ by Taylor Swift comes ringing out my pocket. I dig out my iPhone, swipe at the screen and push the phone against my ear.

“What’s up?”

“Hey, cutie.”

I smile once again. “Amber? Flirting with me, eh? What a refreshing change of paste.”

She giggles. Hmm. Cute. “Still the same old typical Juliet.”

I laugh and turn to look out the window. “There’s nothing ‘old’ or ‘typical’ about me, my dear Amber. Keep that in mind.”

“I will.” She pauses for a while. Finally, she starts speaking again. “Ken is asking if you could bring over that book he borrowed you last month.”

My eyebrow rises. I don’t remember—Oh wait! Right. Now I remember. “Where are you guys?”

“The Library.”

I groan loudly. “I have to go into the library? Oh hell!”

Amber giggles again. “You’re so cute.”

“As you are, princess.” I shake my head. Man, if Ken hears us talking like this to each other, he’d kill me- best friend or not. “Give me five minutes.”

“I’ll be waiting.” She whispers seductively.

I shiver. “Don’t tempt me, Amber.” I grin as she laughs and says her goodbyes. I hang up the phone and place it into my pocket once again. I turn back to my backpack, digs through a bunch of clothes and books and pull out a novel.

I then get up and make my way to the door. The creaky wooden floor makes my footsteps obvious. But just as I place my hand on the doorknob, the bathroom door creaks open, revealing a very wet and very sexy Katherine Phase with only a towel over her body. My heart throbs noisily in my chest, which makes me stare agape, unable to speak. She stares back as well, a hot red spread across her cheeks.

“L-Look away, you pervert!” She practically screams.

I advert my gaze quickly as she makes her way to her luggage, mumbling loud curses. A smile spreads across my face. Today really is my lucky day. I can’t stop the throbbing in my chest, but I have enough restraint not to turn around. I open the door and exit, but just as I’m about to close the door, I pause for a while, and address Katherine, without turning around. “See you later, gorgeous.”

I close the door, but even outside, I can hear Katherine’s curses getting softer. From outside, my back against the door, I lean in, and listen as Katherine sigh loudly, mumbling a ‘stupid...’

I smile again, and make my way to the library.

Comments & reviews · 2

User avatar
Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review Review · Oct 12, 2013

Hey Cyahazard,

I've read your story and I'm here to talk about it. There wasn't anything terrible about this piece of writing, which is great! There are a couple things you can improve though, and I would like to show you my opinions on them. It's up to you if you want to do anything about them later on. I would like to start by saying I liked reading this, and it's going to make an interesting story. I wonder where you're going to go story-line wise. And you have great description in this!

My first warning here is when I was reading about the different groups in the story. Be careful to not to become one of those "there's this and this and this person and this name and now you've learnt that all forget it because it won't be too necessary" type of story. Only describe the groups and people that will be important later on in the story! Or better yet - don't mention them until they become active or actually do something important in the story. Otherwise I learn all these groups and then forget them later on and halfway through the book maybe the Blow-away gang pops up, and the reader ends up flicking back pages to find what they forgot. Be careful there. I understand why you explained the Whitefish in this chapter though. And I must say, each gang has an original and interesting name.

"I moved after that night on the fourth day of first semester last year," Woah, slow down there. In this sentence you mention three different time parts. It confused me for a second, and if it's too confusing, it needs changing. So maybe: I moved on the fourth day of semester last year. It cuts out about two time frames, and is a lot more simple. Simplicity can be extremely helpful when it comes to writing :)

Reading this, it makes it seem like the main character doesn't care about anything except the getting girls. Seems like they don't even care that their parents died, because at the beginning of the story they mentioned it. But in a blasé way. Maybe they should feel a bit more deeply on this subject? If they don't, I, as a reader, would be interested in knowing why not in this chapter as well.

“It’s called excitement, genius.” I exclaim, grinning widely. “For a genius, you’re pretty slow.”

“Hey!”

Kenny is a genius though.


You use the word genius a lot here. Maybe spice it up with some synonyms like smart or something here. Just to add a bit of variety here.

"high cheekbones, fare skin" I think you meant fair skin here. There were also a few other little misspells along this chapter. For example using "not" instead of now when the main character was talking to Katherine for the first time. Just watch out for these little misspells. My suggestion here is to read this over once more yourself. You'll be able to find where you tripped up quite easily, and I won't need to point out each one. It just makes reading the whole chapter easier.

A shock of jealousy creep up my throat. The least Ken can do is let me sleep with her! I’ll totally leave them alone after that. She’s just... so pretty! Plus, it’ll satisfy ‘it’ cause right now, ‘it’s’ hungry. I cough awkwardly.


Hmm, this makes it seem like the main character seem really childish and selfish. From what I've gathered this person doesn't care much about his dead family, or for his best friends standards, or girls standards of themselves, but simply only cares about sex and girls? Make sure you don't overdo this side of the character's personality without showing us some of the good things about the character as well. If you don't, it could end up with the reader disliking the character a lot - which makes them less likely to want to read further. A little something to beware of here.

Also, I haven't seen the main characters name anywhere? It would be nice to know it, or if we heard it just once by someone the person spoke to. At first, I thought the character was a male, because he was always talking about girls or something like that. But then they go on to be roomies with a girl and wearing a sports bra and all that... so assumedly a female? I don't know :/ It would be nice to clarify this a bit more, just so we know ourselves. If male, cut out the "feminine" sounding bits. If female, when the character describes their body in the mirror, maybe mention a couple of curves or something. Or clarify that they're a girl who likes the same gender more? It's be nice for the reader to be sure.

The beginning to this chapter was very interesting. I didn't fully understand it, but I am extremely interested to see how it will tie in with the rest of the story that seems so different in comparison! I would like to keep reading this, so please do tell me on my wall when you post the next chapter!

Deanie x

User avatar
babygiggles
Review
babygiggles wrote a review Review · Oct 2, 2013

Hey Cyahazard,

What caught my eye about this story, was the tittle.It's interesting and makes the reader curious to find out whats it about.I like how you started off with your prolouge. With starting off with;
Everything was so dark... Where am I?

How’d I get here?

Why was I so cold? My fingertips felt numb.

All I remembered was that I was once the prize possession of the Nectont family. Mum and dad loved me. And I loved them.

So why—

And ending the prolouge with;

The devil has awakened. And now, he refuses to leave.

Don't get me wrong, the bit in between was good, But those parts were my favourite. Because it kept the reader interested and not think, Oh it's just another tween story but one, anybody could enjoy.

Only thing i have that is bad to say is, one or two spelling errors.

So, well done on writing this story and can't wait to read the next chapter.

Thank you so much! I appreciate the review, and I'm hoping you'll continue to be interested in this story. :)

Only if you keep it interesting. :)

I'll do my best ;)



“Writing fiction is the act of weaving a series of lies to arrive at a greater truth.”
— Khalid Hosseini, Author