The Fear

by CuteJackRussell

Published December 11, 2010

In Other Poetry

The truth hurts more than the scars and burns I behold.
The truth is a dagger the stabs at your heart when you feel pain.
A controlling feeling that makes you do things you wouldn't normally.
The truth is your biggest enemy, the only one you cannot fight.
It's someone looking down on us who decides who we are.
They have more power over us than we have over ourselves.
They are uncontrollable, they cannot be stopped, they are us.
We are them, we are the truth...

Comments & reviews · 6
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skebe
Comment
skebe commented Comment · Dec 15, 2010

!!!WOW!!!
go you!!! :)

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Lunasol21
Review
Lunasol21 wrote a review Review · Dec 12, 2010

CuteJackRussell wrote:The truth hurts more than the scars and burns I behold.
The truth is a dagger that stabs at your heart when you feel pain.
A controlling feeling that makes you do things you wouldn't normally.
The truth is your biggest enemy,
the only one you cannot fight.
It's someone looking down on us
and who decides who we are.
They have more power over us than we have over ourselves.
They are uncontrollable, they cannot be stopped,they are us.
We are them, we are the truth...


I really liked it, just change the structure up in a few places to help the flow. Keep writing!

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cupcake
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cupcake commented Comment · Dec 12, 2010

I love it! Good discription.

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allikat98 Review
allikat98 wrote a review Review · Dec 12, 2010

Awesome! Kind of sends chills up my spine... :D
I do agree with Crimsona, though, about the repitition and how "The Truth" takes so many different forms. I also do agree with her about the comma. It is minor, but it is still something :)
This kind of leaves you with a few questions, and I like the air of mystery.

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SoggyPoptart
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SoggyPoptart wrote a review Review · Dec 12, 2010

Oooh, nicely written. Although, I have to wonder who are "they" why can't we control them? How do they work? You know every poem has a story whether it's real or not. This is a fine piece of work, just remember leaving even the slightest details out can confuse the writer. I would know (: but other than that, I really liked your poem and continue writing. It's deep, it truly is.

-Soggy

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Crimsona
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Crimsona wrote a review Review · Dec 11, 2010

Wow, deep, deep. Brilliantly written; I love the repetition of 'The Truth' and how 'The truth' turns to 'They' and 'They' turns to 'We'. Really powerful 'stuff' you've written there.

I honestly can't find anything wrong apart from that there needs to be a space between the comma and 'they'

They are uncontrollable, they cannot be stopped,they are us.


A lot is left unsaid in the poem and that's why I really like it, nothing much is explained or described only hinted at and it's really intrigued me. Fantastic.

~Crim



You can do it, serpent king!
— Rhett McLaughlin