Published May 30, 2013
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140,171 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Hey, I liked this poem a lot and I thought it was pretty cool and unique.
I keep seeing your constant comparisons to loneliness and isolation but it almost feels like there is no emotion behind it if you know what I mean. I think that maybe there should be some build up to when you talk about this stuff so it just doesn't seem so blatant and it will make the reader feel more immersed in the poem.
I loved the way you formatted the poem though, I thought that was pretty cool and unique.
I don't have anything to say in terms of grammer and punctuation though since I'm not a big grammer expert, I will leave that up to some other reviewers and from I what I read, there is no blatant mistakes.
I think that this poem has a nice (ish) flow to it. I say ish because I think there are just some spots that you could clean up on to make it flow better.
I also think that instead of telling the reader about all this stuff, that you just have the scene unfold infront of the reader. Sort of like you are writing a book, I think that would help the flow of the poem more and it would also give you a chance to build more emotion and make the reader feel more immersed in the poem.
All in all, I think that this is a pretty cool poem and I hope this review helped and I look forward to reading some more poems by you in the future. I hope you have a great day and continue writing!
Your constant comparisons of isolation and not being isolated keeps a reader interested .
I am compelled by your writing of loneliness and then your opposite imagery of love and acceptance .
This is relatable , but I feel you need to add more expressive words to transform this poem into an even more well written piece of art that it already is .
Well done and keep writing . I would love to read more!
Its all great. Maybe that "to be alone is to be loved doesnt really go in this poem. But i just came up with some thing. What if you put after the "alone is what i am now loved is what i am in the future". Except dont put the to be alone part. Then everything before is describing how it is now and the stuff after is the way it will be in the future. Sorry im terrible with words. What i said probably doesnt make sense. GOOD JOB!!
Hmmm, I like this poem, but I feel like its missing some emotion. Like this piece explains what it is, but doesn't like show it...if that makes sense. I was also kind of confused with the last stanza too. It says to be alone is to be loved, but the rest of the poem doesn't convey that. I think maybe instead of saying to be alone is you should say the future is. Other than that, great job.