Chapter 3: Rebirth
The pain stopped.
Jake lay on the floor for a few minutes, struggling to take a breath. His thoughts were burnt out for the time being; he was relying on instinct, which was to curl up and tense his muscles, waiting for another bout of agony.
However, there had been an impression of finality when the last attack had faded. Some sixth sense was telling him that it was over, even if he didn't want to trust it. Nevertheless, he cautiously rose to his feet and leaned against the wall.
Jake felt something he'd never experienced before; the feeling that he was being watched. Someone else - or something else - was here.
--- --- ---
"Doctor Folsen!"
Edward swiveled from his computer screen to face the door. "No, Randall, for the last time, I don't just hand out raises!"
Opening it slightly and peeking in, Randall held up a file folder, tapping it against the doorframe. "This isn't about that. I need to show you something."
"Ugh... Come in, then."
Sitting in the wooden chair on the opposite side of Edward's desk, Randall slapped the folder onto its surface, unable to resist his dramatic flair. Edward rolled his eyes in pent-up annoyance and opened it, flipping through the x-ray images inside. "What's so important about these?"
"The subject of these photos is Jacob Terrace. Do you remember my report about his incident?"
"Yes," he mused. "As I recall, he started struggling and displaying signs of a fever while still unconscious during the middle of a comatose state. A strange occurrence, to say the least." Edward stared more closely at the stills. "You took an x-ray of him, then?"
"All kinds of scans, actually. But early on in the tests, I took the liberty of giving him an MRI. That one had the most... interesting results."
Edward sifted through the images again. "I don't see any MRI photos in here."
"You wouldn't. They were too distorted."
"Distorted? How could that be?" He readjusted his glasses. "You did check to see if he had any metal on him, correct?"
"Yes, I'm aware of the standard procedure. He didn't have any piercings or other objects on him when we did the scan, but..."
"... But what, exactly?"
"We didn't know why, but under the exertion of the high magnetic fields, his torso was lifted upward until it came into contact with the top of the chamber."
"You can't be serious."
"I'm afraid I am. If you want to see the security footage, be my guest. We managed to shut it off before it crushed his ribs, so I decided to take some X-rays to find out why it was happening." Randall took several specific photos out of the folder and spread them out on Edward's desk. "Look at his heart."
Glancing at the first photo, Edward froze. Removing his glasses and cleaning them with his shirt, he gazed more closely at the image a second time. "I don't... understand..." he muttered, still trying to make sense of it.
Right above the irregular-shaped organ, a spherical object showed up glaringly white against the gray-and-black background of Jake's skeleton.
"From what we can tell, this... thing is around the size of a golf ball. That isn't the worst part, though." Randall's tone grew worrisome. "Since it's next to his heart, we decided to take some blood samples, thinking that would help us determine its material. There are traces of a specific metal in his circulatory system - I'm not a chemist, so I don't know what it's called, but I can tell you that it absolutely should not be in there."
Edward chewed on his lip with anxiety. "Do you have any idea about what's causing this phenomenon? Is it connected to his catatonic state?"
"First, I have no clue - so far, I think it might be unprecedented - and second, I don't think so. The traces of metal in his bloodstream are extremely faint. I would guess that it's been in his chest cavity for less than a week, and he's stayed here for three."
"Based on your knowledge, should we try to remove it?"
"My team and I have looked through medical records dating back forty years, but we haven't discovered anything that appears similar to this case. We have no clue about the effect this object might be having on his body, especially since it's directly above a vital organ. In fact, we don't even know what the object is to begin with. Since the metal seems to be attached to the inside of his upper rib cage, I believe that surgical removal would be relatively simple. In my opinion, it's our best course of action. I looked at our schedule beforehand, and July 15th is the next open date."
Edward sighed. "Let's hope the kid who survived Flight 296 going down can survive a... metal tumor of some sort. I'll set the surgery for July 15th."
Randall nodded and gathered the pictures together. As he stood and walked to the door, Edward called to him again. "Oh, and Randall?"
Randall turned.
"I'll give you the raise you've been asking for if you do me a favor."
"Really? Anything - name it."
Edward took his desk phone from its holder and held it out. "We're obligated to notify his family."
"I - Uh... Well, you're the senior staff member, aren't you?"
"The phone, Randall. Unless you'd rather be transferred to the morgue for a few weeks...?"
The device was snatched out of Edward's hand before he could blink.
"Fine, I'll do it. I may be cheap, but I'm not crazy."
--- --- ---
The cell phone's harsh complaints echoed through the hallway before they came to an abrupt end.
"Yes, hello?"
"This is Wade Tirsen. Am I speaking to Reginald Crow?"
"That's correct. You're the lead engineer, right? Do you have an update for me?"
"Yes, sir. The Project is predicted to reach its intended drill depth by July 14th. We'll begin construction as soon as we hit the line."
"Excellent work - ahead of schedule, too! In fact, tell the drill team that all of you can have an added bonus at the end of the month for your effort. I'll contact the payroll officer."
"Really? That - that's great! Thank you, sir!"
"This is no time to be stingy, Mr. Tirsen - we're in the business of charity, after all! Call me again if you have any trouble."
"Will do, sir. Over and out."
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This is bugging me! There is still no nitpicks!
Of course Jake feels as though he is being watched! He said so in the previous chapter that he felt something besides him! Was he not expecting it to watch him or something? Was it suppose to go on its merry way?
I can tell that July 14th is going to be a big thing. And that something bad is most likely going to happen. Jake is going to die? The drill blows up the planet? Aliens visit? We don't know! That's your job to decide.
You would never suspect from Jake's perspective that he had been there three weeks. I thought he has only been there a couple days!
Keep writing!
-lost
Hello, love, Aurora here for another quick review!
. Just a suggestion, though, because I don't think it's technically wrong the way it is now
.
. Keep it that way, though, I liked that
.
Jake felt something he'd never experienced before; the feeling that he was being watched.
What, his mother's never snuck up on him in his room before when he was absorbed with something? Also, he's rich and has been famous, from what you said in your last chapter. It just doesn't make sense that he doesn't know the feeling of being watched when he's 16 years old Most of us have felt it; stands to reason that he would have, too.
Nevertheless, he cautiously rose to his feet and leaned against the wall.
I think this would read better if you put 'cautiously' after rose rather than before it
And then when you did the phone conversation, I wanted to see Ruth's reaction sooo badly, but then... you switched.
It would also be better if you described the place where the doctors talk, as well. Also, they should be more shocked that their patient has a metal ball in his chest... especially when it got into him while he was at the hospital.
That's all I have for you, excellent writing.
Keep persisting, love.
Aurora