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She enjoys dreaming,
She’s a queen they all love.
She enjoys sleeping,
Where no one judges her smile.
Unlike the world outside,
Where they call her ugly
And despise her lovely eyes.
This is why she sleeps.
She’s a beautiful queen.
They worship her,
They adore her,
They love her,
And crown her.
She is perfect,
Like no other.
But the world outside is cruel,
And all its promises are lies.
She’ll never be a model,
Her dreams are pointless,
Her figure is awful,
And no one will love her.
So she sleeps away,
Drifting further from the day.
Please, don’t wake her.
For if she wakes,
She might never wake again.
She’ll choose eternal sleep,
And forever be their queen.
Forever craving their love,
With no friends by her side,
No one to laugh with,
No one to confide in.
Only in her dreams
She leave the world behind.
She deserves to be loved,
To be cherished like a queen,
To be held above the world,
To be everything she dreams.
She’s a queen.
It’s a guarantee.
They’ll all love her.
If not in the world outside,
Then in the world inside.
There, they will love her,
There, she will reign,
And forever and ever,
They’ll remember her name.
So let her sleep.
Let her dream.
Let her be the queen
She could never be.
Don’t tempt her.
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142,229 Literary Works • 677,054 Reviews
my fav line:
'let her be the queen
she could never be.
Don't tempt her'
the poem is written in 3rd person which makes it looks like an outsider understanding her and telling her story, which is ironic since the whole poem is about the 'outside' world who doesn't understand. I think the last sentence (my favourite) is quite dark, because the speaker truely knows her potential, that 'she could never be', which is quite a sad ending.
I didn't know if I interpreted the perspectives correctly? Is the speaker who knows her so well someone in the outside or inside world? Or is it herself but in the future/past?
Lovely poem! Keep writing
Lightswitch.
Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Am moon!!! Not the one on the sky ok! Yay~
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
Firstly i love the poem so much. Its so relatable. I think this poem is about a girl who is lonely, and sad get judgements in real life but everyone accepts her in dream saying her she is beautiful so she always sleep. Sleeping is a place where she escape reality here. Thats so good it works.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
One small suggestion is to check a few grammar mistakes, like “She leave the world behind” to “She leaves the world behind.” idk its just my thought.
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
Ok ok finally i love the whole think that girl is me actually. But i don't sleep i daydream always. And my favorite line is
i really liked this line it is so sad and dark.
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall it has heavy, dark, sad vibe. Keep writing!! Thank you for sharing.yay~