Published January 1, 2025
My demons are my past
They haunt me till the last.
Round one was complete
Round two clear as a glass.
Inevitable.
I see it coming.
A never ending battle
Where my tears build your saddle.
My mask is your weapon.
How did I let it happen?
Regrettable.
I hate it.
Fearing the one i look up to.
I wonder which arrow
Could possible piece through…
So I could reach you.
But it’s a hopeless dream.
An arrow can’t pass a stream.
Our stream is raging.
Unpredictable.
I think how I should
perhaps…
Say something so you hear?
But your voice overpowers mine.
My tears anger you.
My opinion flares your proud flame.
My being burns you.
Your ears become deaf.
I stay there till nothing is left.
I stay there till you are finished.
I stay there i am diminished.
Extinguishable
If I am not your shadow
Who am I, I think.
I think, If my reflection is blurry,
I must quickly clean the glass
I must be clear like yours.
It’s the only way the peace lasts.
Impossible.
How dare I let it happen?
Let the defenses fail.
Quickly, I try to rebuild;
Perhaps silence is my ail?
Laughable.
Trying to be something I never could
Because the fear has me shackled.
Shackled to your shadow
With the fear of you as its key.
Miserable.
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141,684 Literary Works • 675,546 Reviews
Hey there! I'm here to write a short review for this gorgeous piece!
So far, the main motive on this is unclear and it seems to speak more on how the narrator feels and thinks rather than what had happened to make them feel this way, which is perfectly fine! You stuck to it and it was relatively easy to read and follow!
The only major suggestion I have, unless it was intentional, would to be to make your lines in the stanza's less broken sounding. It makes the poetry feel choppy and rough, which can make it hard to understand or follow along with. It also makes it less smooth, which can make it a struggle to understand. But if it was intentional, then it fits the mood perfectly.
The emotion given in this piece is definitely sensitive, dark and sad. Most likely toxic family or some kind of betrayal might've taken place. I loved how you used italics on the single worded areas. It highlighted different sections and courses through the feelings. I feel like that was a wonderful touch that truly helped the poem continue.
I wish you the best writings! Can't wait for more! <3
~Taost
hey sky! this poem is really cool
) it describes a toxic relationship really powerfully.
first off, i like the words that are in between the stanzas, they all rhyme and add to the poem too, very nice. i don't know much about the technical part of poetry, ABAB and all that, but as far as i can tell, everything looks really good
this part is really cool. it describes how hard it is to leave a toxic relationship, even when the other person is completely draining you. really well done
the last four lines of the story are the best, in my opinion. that shadow shackled metaphor really works with the whole poem, glued to the very thing that is causing you pain. it's an unfortunate truth for most of us (also me) and this poem just reflects it beautifully.
overall sky, very nice poem. you're talented
love, ash
Hi thank you for reading my poem! Ill be honest I forgot I published this last night. New Year crash lol. Thank you for your comment on my poem! I really appreciate it!
-Sky
of courseeee!! i loved it