HEELLO crimson quill,
I may or may not have also reviewed someone named golden quill? Eheh totally random, sorry. Back to your poem about fatigue.
I enjoy reading short poems that get to the point and, most preferably, those that rhyme. You did a nice job here. I envy the way you seem to be able to rhyme without trying- when I write poems, the rhyming words seem off. Also thank you for keeping this poem short. Readers are in a hurry and like reading poems that take less time but have a lasting memory in their heads.
"Of a sudden the world goes dark." When you overdo it, you faint. Your limbs can no longer hold you up and your tired, you just want to go to sleep- and maybe never wake up.
"Fatigue's dull brand makes its mark." Like I said, you either fall into a deep sleep...or you die of fatigue.
Most poems these days are about love and loss and such. Fatigue is a unique topic, which attracts curious readers wanting a taste of something new.
Don't overdo it,
Night Kaizer
Points: 4757
Reviews: 73
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